even running back to you dosen help now














love's devastating..

hey baby.. its no secret to you that i'm one of few words. i cannot simply tell you what i want to say without jotting it down. So here i am (again) at your blog and you decide if it is appropriate to put it out; im saving it as draft.

Time just streams by. And people come and go. And sometimes they stay around for some time, and sometimes they leave, and sometimes they stick around forever. And sometimes time gushes like water from a dam, and there were laughter and booze, and pajama parties and surprises. And it also trickles like a spoilt tap, and there were unkind words and tears and periods of remission. But in no point of time should we ever remain in that dark dark period. I know what you are thinking, ya i'm too sentimental for my own good. But i still think love is everything. When there is love, there is hope.

The answer is somewhat depressing, and you should be counting your blessings. You should be grateful for all the attention from above and here. You should be working hard and count the chicks when they do hatch. You should be doing alot of things that you may not feel like doing but absolutely have to. You shouldn't be "basking" in your unwillingness to face the music. You probably ought to be less devoted to your love.

But then again, how many things happened in reality today? How many hearts were truly broken? and how much tears freely flowed? Too many. I have no idea why she let it happen, i am in no right to comment either. Baby it hurts seeing you like this, as much as the hurt you go through seeing her like how she is.

You are the perfect man, no doubt. This is the first time i see you in such a horrendous state, giving all and your pumping organ. I can't bear to see the blood dripping when your chest is slit open. As difficult as it is, life goes on. You made me a better person, i want to make you one too.

She probably is an angel, else there is no other way your delicate tears would have fallen. I would very much like to meet her, to witness what a phenomenon she actually is. But till then, be strong baby.


One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

-Elizabeth Bishop





i suppose u know who i am, don't you?

Xuan: yea i noe who u r... i read this the same way everybody did. u published it lar... nt draft. stupid...

i missed WGB's gig!!!! shitty shit...



emotions are good.
being emotional isn't.
so the next best thing is to stop thinking and head off for cooling down.

u need emotions for music.
music IS emotional.
so the next best thing is to bask in that shallow fulfilment.

again emotions are good.
emotionally overwhelmed.
so the next worst thing is how do i live without you.

bahh.


___________________________________________________

okay next up. hahahaha. i copied my fren's fark blog's fark entry. like wtf. reallie farkin farnie. dat ass.... i hope he dosen mind me koping that entry. but hey i acknowledged its frm HIS blog wad. yea if he wants a link placed here then tell me. but thats nt the point. the point is it is so damn farked up farnie. oh yea... i noe the 1st part was so freakin emo and tis part jus seems out of place. both were written on diff days anyway. i jus wan to add on and not haf one entry dedicated to that farked up farnie blog's farked up farnie entry.

here it is...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

ULTIMATE SKILL
ooooh...jus finish watchin superband...quite a boring finale. The best performance tonite i tink is J3 jazz version of xiao wei, it realli farkin good man. Anyway, i'm not goin to talk abt superband competition in tis entry as u can see in my title, i'm goin to talk abt a ultimate skill aka 蓋世武功 that i have recently mastered after yrs of training.

The ultimate skill is called LIVING IN YOUR OWN WORLD aka LIYOW. This set of skill has actualli nine levels, with increase of each level means that u are getting better in living in your own world. And recently, i have reach the ninth level aka 九重天 of the skill. this is a very profound skill and not many ppl are suitable to learn, they may go bersek aka 走火入魔. i have practise the skill since primary 3 and only after 10 years of endless practise i can attain the ninth level of LIYOW.

i only discovered that i've reached the last level of LIYOW ytd becos of one incident. So the story goes, i went to SP stadium to meet koon cos we are goin to eat sakae sushi later wif xy and eunice and he was dere to give support to his girlfrens. and so i reach dere, called him, den he told me where he is, so i went to look for him. Then, i saw where he is and then the only thing in my mind is to go to where he is standing. So i walk and walk, when i'm near him, he suddenly scold me for being dao. of cos, i was like WTF. And then i tink he pointed to a direction, and dere, only ard 2 meters away frm him was a grp of gals frm my class. Apparently, they have called out my name as i was walkin nearer, but i dint bother abt them, dats why koon scold me for being dao. But in fact, i dint hear aniting, i was onli concentrating on walking to where koon was. And dada, i have finally attained the final level of LIYOW. Cool man.

So if u r interested in LIYOW, pls call my hotline, u noe wads my number, and then i will evaluate to see if u are suitable for the skill be4 u start practising the skill. I wonder what the world will be like if everyone mastered the skills?

i've had the weirdest of dreams last night. hahaha.

first i dream of me chatting with Harry Kewell while jogging into a stadium to lineup before a match. and we were haolianing about our "little baloon tube" that writes when we made our debuts for our club (so apparently we were in the same club). mine was against some european club starting B. i cant rmb what it was. i think it was Benfica. hahahahahaha. and we were lining up against England. farnie. so kewell and i were shaking hands with gerard and beckham. hahaha. so darn lame.

and then the next part of the dream had me chasing qiuling around this rather huge sp campus. YEA before jumping... it is literally chasing. i think we were at this lab and then she walked out to this water cooler and i somehow switched her into sunyanzi. wahahah. and she left the floor. so i started chasing after her. then chase chase chase i saw joanne at a balcony. asked her for directions and continued chasing. and when i reached the big space in front of the cafe and convention centre in SP, there was this igloo like structure that some "officials: were standing by. then i cont chasing past the IGLOO and poof!

it became another scene. i am in front of a screen and somehow im at sunyanzi's blog that ive nvr seen before. and there are like 2 blogs. add was like #####.#####.com and #####2.#####.com
yea and i was alternating between the chasing scene and this scene so i kept wanting to read wads on the blog but end up running around until the igloo part where the chasing scene went totally off. and i saw pictures but cant make out wad they were on the blogs. and when i was aboutto read........... yea correct. POOF.

i woke up. lol

blog bloggy blogged blogging.

HA. made it through!! but all the details have yet to be ironed out and things aren't looking good. bah might as well. i'll probably crack up lookin at so many people. but still ... wheeeee!!

ahaha. i think stef is my favourite person at the moment. shes like some fairy who occassionally flies down to me and gives me lots and lots of magic. ginger u rock la!

so am i goin to juggle desire and commitment together... or am i goin to give up one for the other. but of course i have to go for commitment aint it? ill probably give up commitment altogether if i try doing both. cheerios


yea its dwindling by the day. but still thr's a tingling right there in the middle of it. can't help it.