i feel shit. and it dosen help wif everybody around me all feeling shit.

u know im growing to be accustomed to being a poor pauper. i have a desire to be rich and its gettin stronger and stronger. i wan to haf that ability to pay for anything and not look into my pocket and see hollowness... see the mental calculations and see the stop signs of spending money. im so dead...

im dropping deeper and deeper... im supposed to be swimming upwards trying to stay afloat but instead seems to be going in the down direction.
somebody save me... i want to be myself i want to sing like i used to do i want to feel like i used to do i want to smile like i used to do i want to love i used to do. i want to. but i cant...