you know you've not been a good boy when pple arnd u starts callin u names u dun want to be associated with. and hell they dun have a clue whats goin on at all. when everything's fucked up but u can't look fucked up bcos its goin to make everything even more fucked up when the fucked up pple see u fucked up they get even more fucked up and u in turn also get more fucked up by their fucked up attitude. and everyday i just wake up thinking of you knowing exactly what i need to do but end up forcing myself against that desire because i cant be hundred percent sure ill be able to follow through with my words. and YET along with that i need to face all these fucked up people doing fucked up things.

yea so when u look at things from all the whatever perspectives u see tons of images. when ur grandma's rich it dosen mean ur grandpa's rich too. when ur dad's full it dosen mean ur mum's not hungry. when the school is on holiday it dosen mean u are free. when ur wallet's full of notes it dosen mean u are rich.

HECK. i just want to be happy.


i miss hanging out with eric & co. abel mummy and all of you. i loved all the shit we went through. i want to just drop in on any one of them and feel what i love the most. these multitalented people are mad. and i would gladly love to be mad like them. mummy's gettin so blardy wonderful and stef's just a pain in the ass with her antics. i'm no longer part of eric & co. but ill find my mates soon to rival them. i want to be able to feel the primate touch of music divinity again. i long for it. dub i almost forgot the blardy cute rainbow kid we all love most. lets hope his dad won't bring me to court for this.
























and ofcourse i miss you. but dun take it in any way. its just... me being my fuckerjerk-self.