Well... There wasn't a lot of time for maneuver but people have been informed and i got to do things that i wanted to do so all is cool.

Going in would probably take up loads of my time, most of it in fact. So that leaves me with no space to pursue anything other than ORD. I wonder how much of it i would be reminiscing after the two years, when i embrace the fact that ive served the obligation im supposed to. yaaa... its kinda funny when u see that you are feeling excited about something because you have already submitted to capitulation. Still... all is cool.

I would really like to have a chance. Not to explain my mistakes, not to defend myself. I would DIE to have the chance to at least be scolded at, and even be slapped and kicked and tortured. But i probably would not be getting that chance, and even less in the future since im goin in and staying there for the next two years. You know, i hope you are reading this. i will not even ask for forgiveness.. just talk to me, will you? Just very simply talk to me...

others say they feel pretty sad for me that it has gotten to this. but no... its not even close to being sad for me. To be such a total stranger to you and your life is devastating to me. i dont want to be a stranger. im not used to being a stranger. and i hope you wont as well.