you know i had tons i wanted to scribble in here because no one comes already anyway... but i lost all thoughts on the way. HA HA HA

4mths into ns and everything starts to settle into place. lifestyle changes and all the adjustments needed has been done. Sure once in a while i still get the i-want-to-get-out-and-do-my-life-MY-WAY impluses... but yea, this what every guy goes through in singapore what... sometimes i just wonder whats it like out there where the others are already working and rubbing shoulders the corporate way, are they also adapting well enough? or i suppose the adjustments are almost neverending... Just how many people get to do what they want in the materialistic society called singapore? i dont mean shake-leg-drink-icetea kinda life... everybody simply just fits into the broad system of the society and start slogging and shaping their lives the way everybody does in here eh... so its still kinda regimental in the not-so-obvious way... Like say... Money? the root of all evil. probably when money's not only not an issue, its meaning entirely vanished, that everything else (the corporate ladder, jobs, cultures, so-called positive & -ve values etc) will start to dissipitate as well. but then again... thats rather idealistic.



what if there's a place where people realise their own personal missions everyday single day when they wake up, and not nearing the end when they're inches away from their deathbeds that their own in-bred objectives finally dawn upon them?

TWO MONTHSSSSSSS?!?!?!?!?!?!


since the last post. i think its the longest ever... because got nothing to update what!

but then since ive got this uber l0000ng weekend i went to catch up on some of the blogs and realised n0thing much is up there either, other than hyperactive eric's. HAHAHA wah the world revolves around me eh... i stop everybody else stops! (Eric's from another galaxy so he dosent count).

hahhhhh.... so how's everyone doing?


SHIT. i just realsied like since i haven touched this blog for this long, wouldnt there be nobody left who regularly checks for updates? SO I WRITE FOR WHAT?!


nevermind lahh... just write only.

i tell you... two months into army and it really is taking its toll already. i know two months is only just TWO freaking MONTHS. but trust me, time crawls slower than a tortoise and snail combined inside. i feel like ive been in that shithole for like at least half a year already. Anyway, i said its takin its toll. its not so much about the training and stuff, that part can be enjoyable. why its hard to get by is that u freakin have no idea why ur spending almost 90% of your time inside doing countless tasks and seemingly having a schedule so packed its bigger than Big Mac. BECAUSE i really have no idea what i had been doing for the past two months. and i really do not like the prospect of doing this for two straight years. sometimes we dont realise how precious time actually is. yes we acknowledge that time is precious most of the time, then fullstop. but i realise(sortof!) now just how important it is to know what you are doing with your time!

Two years, so strategically placed at a time where steps u take would make or break your entire life. Army came at a time when i havent yet decided whether music can feed me for the rest of my life (or at least until i find a rich enough chiobu to powder my face white). Then now i risk ending up somewhere where i have no time even to choose where to take a dump, let alone having anything to do with err... whats the name... , music?



Ohh GODDDDD!! Can a voice just freakin tell me what to do?! like err... let's see Xuan Almighty??!!

great... now where are the wise people i successfully rid of(rather very stupidly) from my life?

Booking out made everything seem slower, and boring.

Come to think of it, it was boring even before enlistment.



Ultimate Random.

Well... There wasn't a lot of time for maneuver but people have been informed and i got to do things that i wanted to do so all is cool.

Going in would probably take up loads of my time, most of it in fact. So that leaves me with no space to pursue anything other than ORD. I wonder how much of it i would be reminiscing after the two years, when i embrace the fact that ive served the obligation im supposed to. yaaa... its kinda funny when u see that you are feeling excited about something because you have already submitted to capitulation. Still... all is cool.

I would really like to have a chance. Not to explain my mistakes, not to defend myself. I would DIE to have the chance to at least be scolded at, and even be slapped and kicked and tortured. But i probably would not be getting that chance, and even less in the future since im goin in and staying there for the next two years. You know, i hope you are reading this. i will not even ask for forgiveness.. just talk to me, will you? Just very simply talk to me...

others say they feel pretty sad for me that it has gotten to this. but no... its not even close to being sad for me. To be such a total stranger to you and your life is devastating to me. i dont want to be a stranger. im not used to being a stranger. and i hope you wont as well.

FLYYYYY


You know i would really like to fly off on my wings one day and never come back... its like fleeing. No no... I WANT A DRAGON. Flying on my own would probably be so damn tiring. But still, the idea's to flee FLEE flee.

And give me a magic wand. ABRAKADEBRA. Everything turns out the way i want it to. HAHAHA... that would be nice. and funny. Not everybody will find it funny. It probably takes alot of humour to find it funny...

Well... i had a dream last night. i didn't want to dream of that person. But if u get me my dragon and my wand... I'll make it real.