somebodyelse's blog...



~T I R E D~

i'm very tired..
i'm very stressed..
i'm very troubled..
i've not enuff rest..

i need time..
cox it's running out..
i need a shoulder..
cox my tear is flowing out..

my head is spinning..
i can't stop thinking..
i'm not focusing..
cox i'm day dreaming..

tired of thinking of others..
tired of caring for others..
tired of asking so much..
tired of concerning too much..
tired of always giving in..
tired of taken for granted with..

basically.. i'm jux tired.. realli tired.. sometimes jux think that i'm so stupid.. think i'm going crazy.. can even forget i've got a presentaation today.. when tat's the main purpose i went to sch..my mind's not working correctly.. gotta see a doc.. Mmm.. insanity.. laughter is the best medicine.. think it's sold out at the moment..~

____________________________________________________________

Me: sumtimes u juz sit dere n wonder... y cant u juz let evrytin out... y cant u scold n nag n vent ur frustrations n wadeva... u noe u want to... bud juz cant rite... u juz cant do it... e smile comes on automatically... hahax... it dosen feel good sometimes... bud thats sumtin we have n the others dun realli... :D so cherish.

E: yeah.. perhaps.. tat's the part.. smile.. it's good n bad..who understands..? it's the smile tat pple could see onli..
____________________________________________________________

hahaha... im alright. i jus wanted to announce to the whole wide world that thought... see how my breed is feeling different from others. you may envy our ability to smile and be happie all d time... bud in actual fact we aren't happie all d time... we LOOK happie all d time. yeps... its just a mere exclamation hahaha... mere. HeE.....

i'm beginning to realise how optimistic i am... as in totally. completely way too optimistic for my own good. im seeing things in an entirely different light from others' perspectives. am i doin myself more harm den good? yes being optimistic is alot better than being pessimistic. being optimistic means having the smile on ur face ALL D TIME. being optimistic means lookin cheerful and no worries. Being optimistic means being lonely and mystic. it means not having somebody to realise ur feeling down. it means hiding your real self behind e mask u have been wearing for so long not on your accord. it means losing control of ur ability to display sad... sorrow... unhappiness.onLy JOY. it means the spending of nights alone when you needed someone to be there like you have been for them. Being optimistic means being the happy fruit(direct trans pls... :p) for everybody. being optimistic means feelin joyyee most of d time and deemed NOT serious.

yes i am serious now. it realli is ..... that those who bring joy and laughter to others are often the ones being neglected. have u ever realised that when somebody is the class clown or joker in ur groups he makes people laugh... but there isn't anybody to make him laugh like u did. that when somebody is alwaes there with the smile to brighten up your day... he is facing all your frowning faces that is dappening his day. have you ever realised that when SOMETIMES you start calling these people who make you laugh NOT serious is because u yourself isn't feelin good like he is and u just plainly ignored the fact that he is feeling good and cannot help it. you don't understand them... u know how reflex it is to smile for us? sometimes you just want to not smile and plainly swear at anybody's face. but no... the :) comes out straight away. see how even a ":)" can change your mood?

kelujayermiawen came outta his house to admire his brand new truck. as he was walking down he could hear loud heavy bangs coming from the garage. to his amaze his son, SkelujayerOmiawenN was busy hammering dents to his truck. when efforts to stop him by shouting was deemed futile, he rushed over grabbed the hammer and aimed at his son's hands knocking "Don't stop right! don't stop right!" his son's hands were beaten into a pulp and rushed to hospital when kelujayermiawen calmed down. despite desperate attempts to save them, SkelujayerOmiawenN's fingers had to be amputated. When SkelujayerOmiawenN woke up and saw his bandaged hands, he innocently said "dAd i'm sory bout your truck."

then he asked, " But when are my fingers going to grow back?"
kelujayermiawen went home and commited suicide.


see how people do things rashly and without thinking. i mean it could be little things like a comment or jibe innocently made... or a huge mistake like a slap to your very and most loved ones. sometimes ... saying and truly feeling sorry would not be enough by then.
We all make mistakes... we ARE allowed to make mistakes. yes ur rash actions is a mistake by you. but alwaes remember we need to account for our mistakes. Pause and Ponder. Always. You have the right to be angry... dats it. Period. you've got no other rights! no right to be cruel... no right to condemn others... no right to even judge others... and no right to HURT.

hollowness felt so deeply you could literally hear your heart waning. and the dumbest of ideas to shut yourself up. no sound could be heard other than your own. no love could be felt. no path to be seen. until now you say u felt the same. until now u say something could have been done. does it matter i ask you. will it change anything anything i ask you. can i have you back..........iaskyou.



i came in when you were having your third shot... i saw your meteoric rise to the dazzling heights you are now. but only now do you lower your head to have that glimpse of me i've been waiting for too long. at least i know now i have a place in there.

yes i MISS you!! don't givmmi anything now.. not now when i've overcome whatever shit you have made me gone through. not now that you want me to go through everything all over again.. first shot everybody could see what you're capable of. second shot you cemented that belief. third shot you brought me into you and matured gorgeously. you grew up. fourth shot you were tired. fifth shot you couldn't take it anymore. sixth shot you gave your very last gasp. seventh shot you did not even bother waving to mi and left. eighth shot you came back with entirely new found meaning and hope. have you ever wondered where i was. im still back at your first cry. i want you back. not the one now. she's somebody else's. i am not expecting anything. all i have are memories. just go... yes i am cruel. but to myself or you iaskyou for the last time.

haa... :)

i don't wanna lose you, i don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And i don't wanna hate you, i don't wanna take you
But i don't wanna be the one to cry.
That don't really matter, to anyone anymore
But like a fool i keep losing my place, And i keep saying you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes Love just ain't enough.

Now i could never change you, i don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes i may have hurt you, But i did not desert you
Maybe i just want to have it all
It makes a sound like thunder, It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where i used to lay

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know its your heart they can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes Love just ain't enough

Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.

yePs... tis blog was reviVed by mi... haa

went singin ydae n missed e FA final. dosen matter...
onli ydae haf i realised how mch i missed you. how u haf left such an amazing impact on me. and how long of your life i haf walked with you and you haf mine.

the very realisation of the totaL blank when ur removed from e past few years of my life.
no... i don't want to know.

yay hahaha. kae i shall blog about my job .
nO la... !! in fact i jus wanna blog about tis colleague at john liL. cos he's jus plain farnie! he's called gerard... n he's 50yo... his moustache r unshaved.... has a big belly... is not tall... nose hairs are shootin outta his nostrils like sum tree branch... n mucUs (lucus... loL if ur readin tis) sticks on e extended "outdoor" nose hairs like sum bloody shiT!! gross... eyes look weary n sleepy all d time... n his voice is like Moses lIm's plus abit of gay... can u jus imagine such a person hovering arnd u all d time 6daes a week?? ok... b4 u start puking....

yeps he's my colleague... n he's darn Cute. he's been dere fer 32 years already... bud evrybody else bullies him like he's been dere fer 32 mins la... loL. wich is y im oso part of e gang dat bullies him... bcos ive been dere 6daes alreadi. waY past his 32 mins... okies. outta pt.

tis gerard... accordin to another old guy dere is a subnormal parasite who is hired on an annual contract. n he's been hired fer a freakin 32#@!@# YEARS?? loL...
he dosen work.... dosen use his brain... n is a freakIn loser la...
he's got lotsa secrets... n he's a bloody flirt... nt that anibody is bothered la...
e other old guy everytime wud shout to him... "GERARD DE CRUZ!!!!!!" then he'll come out from his hiding place ... "yyyyyes?" den he'll crap at gerard n make us laugh like monkeys...

ooo... n his secrets... i onli noe 2 now... he once got two transvetites near our workplace... to giv him blowjobs fer 150bucks... hahahahahaha.
n he bought 200bucks worth of chocolates n pen fer a gerl.... or shud i sae auntie... loL.

dats nt secret to most of us... bud if u let his mum noe about tis... wahahahaha!!! u shud haf looked at his face... begging n nearly breakin to tears...


okies its quite bad actually... i mean... treatin him like that... y m i experiencin remorse straight away afta i write about him...?? omigod... he's quite kelian... come to think of it. argh...
anyways... argh... afta a week's work. im nt feelin anitin particular... i dun feel anitin about e job... is that supposed tob good or bad... bcos i dun hate nor do i like e job.

ooOOO... n dere r two MuTe pple dere... ah hock n pHilip. i dunno exactly e correct n NICER way to address them other than mute pple lar. i noe dey wun feel good being called dat. bud iseriously dunno wad to write... yeps. philips... im closer to him rather than hoCk.

i learned sign lang frm him...!! hahaha.. jus e basics actually. n u realli do ponder n realise stuff onli when dey r right in frnt of u... how dey muz b so frustrated when dey cant get deir message across... dere r occasions when he jus tried n tried gesturing n drawing n writing to me... yet i jus simply cant acknowledge it. hai... a world of total silence. dats unbearable...

he wasn't born deaf n mute... it was... a fever when he was young. his mum brought him to hospital too late. haven't we seen tis on tv on books on radio umpteen times... tis time its real. n he's frm a well-to-do family mind you... n he's clever too. smart in many ways... such a pity. wad would it be if he did get to hospital...

all said... he's still living a happy life... he still enjoys his weekends cycling... fishing... i think he enjoys his life now... hahahaha. im smiling fer him... im happi fer him... lets hope it stays like tis forever. yeps....

i dunno wad to write... yea i said i would blog. bud i dun noe whr to start wif eh?
im havin tis super serious giddyness like 20times a dae... n its nt goin away. i dun wanna blog now. mayb tmr or sumdae... sorri yea...?

its my blog anyway... hahahaha heE

lotsa stuff went thru my mind these few daes... mayb i'll blog when i haf e time. just plain busy now... i haven finished so many things im chucking them at one side. started work at jL. n it sucks bcos its too slack. im gonna boRe to deaTh.... saLes pls quickly come...


wanna write stuff... bud nt now.
im too .................... lost.

it'S RenEe.

FeEl goOd.

Your #1 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #4 Match: ISFP

The Artist You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs. You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #5 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

What's" Your Personality Type?

.
got tis frm leeHom. no i TOOK it. n yeS its leeHom!! beG mi fer his add bah!!!! loL...
anyway... i blogged four-ice todae.. haha dats e equivilent of thr-ice. i dun noe how its written la!! unless u wan mi to write quadruples... nMind.
.
.
.
.

n i seriously do think tis thing is accurate. iT is!!

hEY

moM's dae is tmR!!!

did u buy anitin or do anitin fer her...? im guilty of dat myself... shit. so how did tis farnie dae come about... im nt sayin its crap la... juz curious. n most of us dun "celebrate" e dae anyway... OK maybe dere r people out there whu do... juz take dat e small minority of sIngaporean population arounD mi in tis pathetic SMALL circle dun... so dats about e whole world to mi........... ... . ... .. .. . .yea?

.

anywayS... so how do peeps actually go about doin it huh.... mayb get a card or sumtin fer her? bud if ur doin it evry year. . ... .. .. dosen make sense to mi.

.

.

Okies. oNli i understand myselF now.

iT is fer U to express ur gratitude n loVe to her!!

Ya.. .. . . dats wad evrybody else is saYin too...

den wad r U waiTin fer??

i juz suddenly tot of Sumtin sUmone said... .

. misSing sumbody onLi when dey're goNe~

anD?

n i was thinkin... . .. . if we heeded dat advice n start caring n stuff onlI NOW

wuldn't dat mean dat sum1 is expected tob goNe soOn...?

bcOs u dunwan to miss sum1 onLi when dey're gonE.

. . .

hahaha... .

oh yeah... results were released daes ago...
n i fared shIt. juz how e hell did i convince myself to study last min fer tis soooooooo important eXam... my gPa is btw 2.2. n dat sucks... to e core. dere goes marketing n all e uNi expectations n all e top TOp percents... i mean i came to tis poly to do marketin larz. wif no idea of e limited places fer it... n oh how e Fuck i wish i chose NYp instead now. at least i wud still haf been doin markeTin even if i'm alSo in e top NInety percent like i m now... i juz plainly wiSH ... pls ans my wiShes.... dat tis batch miraculously did NOT mostly choose marketing... den at least let mi sneaK through... to heLL wif slackinG larz...

.

i'm bored.

wooHoo

okies.... tis blog is uP lo!!!!!!.

at firx i din wanna jus join e hype n start havin a blog bcos evrybody else is havin one la.... bud nw i realise e advantages and usefulness of havin one eventually. u can crap Crap cRap n craP all u wan n nobody is dere to nag at u or swear at u... n u can keep peeps updated n u can sortof biTch about anitin n evrytin else... ok gerls bitch... we dun. wE discuss and argue in a logical n SENSE-d( i jus invented e word) approach... wahahahaha~

waHAhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa.... oo im druNk now. n sumbody drop mi a comment on how to enable comments tob made.... its like such a common thing la. n mine dosen haf one. loL!! anyways... if dat fails. .dat means u cant drop a comment fer sum reason or another. msg mi. waaaaaaahhhahaha!





siao





n forget bout e previous post... makes entirely no sense to mi rite now.