my breath stinks,
i look old.
my fingers stink,
my teeth are yellow.


Guess who i am.

















im a freakin retard smoker.

and a freakin smoker who cant let go, not cigarettes something else.
and a freakin smoker who lost his bunch of keys and his favourite keychain.
bull.

I'm sorry. I'm really very sorry. :)
to all of you. You and You.










i'm losing respect for myself.

thanks;abel


Time's catching up on me real fast, i don't really have a clue what i intend to do for the next five or ten years. I know this is very unlike me, well.. i'm not a saint am i?

I've been wearing lots of tshirts lately, though i'm still the pretty little me! I've been hassling about around the world in search of dollars, albeit the money goes into the account at home. How ironic!


to mr.tay:

No mulling over what’s lost or gained. We look forward, sometimes we stay awhile on the spot to enjoy the scenery. But the world doesn’t wait for us. So we have to keep going.

And i really don’t have to remind you again what words can do. Think before you say anything, because if you don’t, it usually comes out wrong and unintentional. We wouldn’t want that would we?

I've said those somewhere else too, i realise they take on an entirely different meaning here. Anyways, so now i know

one hour of devotion + one hour of tolerance

do not equal two hours of Love.

but i'm sure we'll work something out won't we?

It's terribly harsh for me to take but i've been through breakups with you TWICE already, so it really does not hurt as much. So while i continue to wait, Be good!

Hee ;p

sometimes people just don't happen. it's not like i didn't try over and over again. if it's wrong then u do it the right way, it's your turn anyway. long ago dued.

YAY. I'm happy. So are you for me. Thanks alot. hahaha. Look at my smile... :D

why should anybody be pondering between somebody who wants u to be happy and one who dosen't really care as much. isn't it obvious?


brrrrrrrraabs.

lets not care about all the whys whats hows. we'll see how everything goes.

yeps so anyways... HAHAHAHAHA. apart from the fallin off the bed under the blanket and the Eat Me incidents, she managed another shit.

i was calling abel in the middle of the night thinking she should be awake.


"Halo?"

"oie go drink leh"

"eh i sleeping already lah... Dun play"

"tsk... u pig ah. wake up la!"

"i'm not going to say i love you on the fone. i know tis is some kind of prank"

"HUH?!"

"aiya i really sleeping already... goodnite laaa"

"wake up la... i cant sleep. we go eat prata."

"okay la okay la... i luv u i luv u! muackmuackmuack!
now can i go back to sleep? yawns "

"Siao ah! What the hell u tokin about!"

"ehh what show is this? i really sleeping halfway lehhh"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"Idiot lahh... i hang up already. Gdnite"

-Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-




Silly silly sleeptalk. :D







yikes.
school's fun. school's not fun. so tmr's a welcomed dreadful day.

There was a boy. There was a girl. There was another girl.

The boy and one girl had known each other for four years since. Throughout the four years, they gave each other support and were there for each other in times of any occasion. They shared joy and sadness. they were the best of soulmates. Best friends.

There was this other girl the boy met. He fell in love with her, but was rejected on numerous occasions. She would never tell, he would never know. Of course, in times of such adversity the boy's best friend was there for him.

One day, while chatting around with another friend, the girl teared. The girl was worried sick for the boy. She despised the situation the boy is in, she wanted him happy. She loved him. The friend told the boy.

The boy was touched. The boy asked the girl, the girl confessed, they got together. The girl is very happy, extremely. The boy was happy, but slowly got confused. Where is he going to place the other girl now. Is is just gratitude he has for his best friend, or did he do it out of love.

she would never tell.
he would never know.
she would love him.

2girls and a guy.







Skater Boi.

Utterly Missing.



shitty. im supposed to be sleeping. Bcos i haven slept for 2 days. But i'm not sleeping yet. I wonder why. hahahaha. mad.

We are so stupid to have done it. We need to rethink. We can turn the clock back. We rawk.

Things look complicated. But the more complex they look, the simpler they actually are. Easy... Feel. Think. Do. Done.

Will we last? There is no point in even getting into it again if we already know we're not going to make it for long.



Should we?
Ofcos not.

and the story of abel and disabeled goes on...

站在十字路的交点
该怎么走
我却只想回头

除了你给的伞我再也没有
别的借口
去拥有你的什么

你能体谅 我有雨天
偶尔胆怯 你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅 我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步 会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

牵手和分手来自同一双手
做回朋友
我却为何不懂挽留

你能体谅 我有雨天
偶尔胆怯 你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅 我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步 会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

是否太晚 路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边

你能体谅 我有雨天
偶尔胆怯 你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅 我的雨天
此刻脚步 会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

i kind of start to think abt how i see myself... in the long term. If i continue this bullshit way of living, im going to end up like.... bullshit.

A person who stood by you every moment of your life, a person who is always the first to worry about you, a person who feels happier over things in your life than her own, a person who was always there when the other was no where to be found.... deserves to be loved, right?


of course. (:

Used to it. Forgettable habits.

Okays u know we sometimes have to settle for second best in life, because we cant always get what we want. If this is what's going to happen when i persist, i would rather not. If everything u said is true, so true that u can say it in your heart, then maybe you think all these while i haven't been real enough when our friendship grew. So be it this or that, i'll just have to wait for you to start thinking Hey! He's just a buddy and he's treating me like one too. Nothing more than that.

yeps... lets hope u realise i would give up any other thoughts if it means i wont even be on the same terms with you like before. That you probably don't agree, i very much hold the same stubborness as you, that i dont want anything i do to affect the whole group, which resulted in a lot of ... holding back. Although the desire to change things and turn the clock back, i think i have even more desire to not lose you as a friend. I'll take whatever comes my way, this is life isn't it? Give and take.

So will you pls con't being my friend?
because i really am hating myself for such a situation now. I can't talk to you, you won't talk to me either. If i'm not going to be in your life, i certainly don't want this to be the reason for.


Okays. I've given my thoughts. Yea, i know you can ignore this and continue setting up your barriers. I'm not hoping for much understanding either, because it is my fault.

being the ever-optimistic that i am, i'm off to collect my positive and favourable scan results. yea... not many people knows what i'm talking about. a lot of people dont care anyways.

everything people do can be the result of devotion.
sacrifices can be made and left unknown.
at the end of the day, it simply boils down to your desire.

u can run, but there is no way u can hide.
and when things reach the end, will u be able to smile.. to yourself?

I just want you to be happy.

;abel



Is this laughing matter? What's wrong with you. Shouldn't you tell your loved ones what you are going through? I thought the very least you would have told her, it's uncomprehensible.

Still, i hope you get well. I hope there really is nothing wrong with your head, i want it back as silly as it is. HMMPH. It's so cold here, i wonder how you live happily like u seem to be. I love to cook in your house and watch tv with norman at my feet. It is so quiet you can hear the crickets at night and a rooster at 3 in the morning. 3am !!! A confused rooster. And a lost one i suppose.

Cooked some instant noodles but could hardly eat. Food tastes funny when YOU are sick. So I left it on the table....there's alot left, couldn't bear to throw it, but I know nobody's going to eat it the next morning. I'm not sure if not emptying it into the bin makes me feel less guilty. Maybe it does.

There is a lot of stuff that I want to say, maybe to make me feel better when I'm heard, maybe to justify, maybe not to, maybe to share beautiful things, maybe to share unfortunate moments, maybe to get things off my chest.

I will not do that today, because some things are really not meant for your ears, but I'll try to do that with music ok? I'm too pensive when I write sometimes....and I'm not 'too talented', I'm just too egoistical. You are not pensive, you just brood and write. Absolutely confusing for the reader.

I have many stories to tell but not all suitable over internet.... but when you try to round off the edges a bit, it doesn't come out the way it should be. Bitter, gritty, acidic, hilarious, pungent or a mild sweet after taste. Life is amazing.

I'm writing nonsensical content. Perhaps i'm too tired, perhaps i should wash my hands off you, perhaps you're too dear to me.

I will sleep a while more, since the house is silent and quiet.



She is SO PRETTY! ;p

now that i've got it out of the way... its time to get all the stuff back.

i mean myself back.

and i dunno wads wrong with her. i dun like it. why not be yourself. again, i don't know anything. so i can only shut up.




__________________________________________________________________________

life;abel



you reek of alcohol
you name a metaphor
i call you a coward
i say, you retarded

you turn and look
you see and sob
you picked the lice
you find demise

i see the terminal
i hope she matters
i can't, be bothered
i feel distorted

life is shit
shit happens
move on, you creep
that's all i desire


I'm not going to continue this. It's getting boorish. It would if i do.

;abel (LAST PART, DO NOT ADD ON, I WILL KILL YOU)

No, it dosen't. Nonetheless, i want you to be happy!

And i'm going to post this public, to show what a heartless creep you are.

GOOT NAITE.
______________________________________________________________

;sayandsay

just go n sleep lah. i think u r no.2, right behind her. wahahhaah. i think i hear alot of hmphs. yea like alot of pple read this, i am so farkin bhb. but yea... just noe at least u'll be the last to be given up. lol. if it helps.

sleep.

______________________________________________________________

;abel

YEA right. Stop acting tough when you are such a softie. who was the one who even turned your-love down when she(bitch) threatened to kill herself.

Mate, simply stop brooding and show how crazy you are over her. Physically.




goot gawd. You are saying you would give me up too. what am i doing here ?? I should be sleeping. Why give a damn about this hearltess creep ?? ;p
______________________________________________________________

;sayandsay


hahhahahahah. eh this is damn cool la.

yea... i noe that simple truth. but there's no simple way to turn it off...

and pls... cant be bothered. pls swear as much as u can if it helps. wake her up.

yes... i KNOW. CONTRADICTING. SELFMUSING. IRONICALLY. WHATABOUTMYSELF.

but seriously. i would do anything for her. i'll lose everything if it needs be. yes even u abel. much less anybody else.

______________________________________________________________

;abel


PLEASE do not add on to this. It is so un-cool to be talking like this and for everybody to see, plus it is 630am and i need a wink.

Okay it is simple. and simply put, as simple as it is, quite simply, she's not liking you back. Simple, ain't it?

Now deal with your other girl i sweared at.


______________________________________________________________


; sayandsay again


NOPES. haha. eh we're so darn stupid to tok like this. BUT thanks lah girl. really. for being thr whenever i needed it.



it ain't complicated lah. u noe how i get all insecure and totally absurd when i dun know what i need to know. but it is simple now. i still like her. simple rite. haha. i dunno how long its going to last. but thats not important. and its been so long already anyway. so its simple. i like her. very much. :D

______________________________________________________________

;abel


Everything seems so complicated it bothers me.
but i'm always here if you need me.



_______________________________________________________________


delirious delirious. ; sayandsay




when it is right in front of u and u cant get it.

it means life's going gets tough.

and it sucks.

pls stop me.







if it means everything else is taken away from me, i'll do it. save me.

enormous; abel



there were times when i thought somehow you would wriggle your way out.

and then i felt her snobbery and thought she was a player.

little did i know i would be thinking you to be a brooder.

i will never forget the things you said in that drunken stupor.

but never will i leave you fragile.

now i hope things turn out fine.

it's time both of you listen to your hearts.

it would be such a pity it does not.

an enormous pity.





SNOUTS

She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing
She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion
She laughs at my dreams but I dream about her laughter
Strange as it seems she's the one I'm after

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

She can't keep a secret for more than an hour
She runs on one hundred proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me, the more I adore her
What can I do - I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

And when she sees it me
On her caller ID
She won't pick up the phone
She'd rather be alone
But I can't give up yet
Cause every word she's every said
Is still ringing in my head Still ringing in my head

She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing
Knows just what to say so my whole day is ruined
Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

the click five ; just the girl

-my goodness.

put yourself in the shoes of the girl. you keep on ignoring him, you push him away, you avoid him, you do whatever you can to get him to leave you alone.. and yet, YET he still keeps coming back. WHAT THE. i mean, if i were the girl i would be supremely irritated. i mean, come on and LEAVE ALREADY!




italics were gobbled off hong:jas's blog. is that what im doing? am i doing all those irritating shit? am i in my own world? am i over-reacting? try being sucked by this immense feel for as long as i've done. and try to keep your hold like what everybody is trying to tell me to. impossible.


CRAZY. LOL.

bridge; abel


Waltzing in and out.

"We can smile about the happy times, hell we'll even smile about the hard times."

What's the biggie?

Today I played bridge with my friends. The last time we did that was about 200 years ago. I almost forgot about my luck with gambling (or the lack of it). I look at my friends and think, hell our group's dynamics can be so bizarre, but 13 year-old friends don't just disappear. They stick around.

We want to throttle each other's throats sometimes, and our eccentricities sometimes gets the better of us, but......no buts, I still get the urge of wanting to smack them.

i am bored. i really am very bored. i am so bored i am on the verge of tears. i am so bored i'm going to breakdown any minute.

i am so bored bcos i am sick. i am so bored bcos i am so tired. i am so bored bcos i am so sick and tired. i am so bored bcos i'm sick and tired of u.

i am so bored bcos i am missing. i am so bored bcos i am longing. i am so bored bcos i am missing and longing. i am so bored bcos i'm missing u.

i am so bored. i really am very bored. i am so bored i am on the verge of tears. i am so bored i'm going to breakdown any minute.

i am so bored i am writing this. i am so bored i should go to sleep. i am so bored i would wake up tmr bored. i am so bored i should kill myself to keep me busy.


i am so bored.

wahahaha... abel's entry lasted a few hours again. and its bcos of tis darn lame retarded boring thing im goin to do.


How old were you?: 16
Where did you go to school?: i go to school by taking 13 at the bustop.
Where did you work?: at the table.
Where did you live?: in the house.
Where did you hang out?: hmm... i was busy with my O's. didnt do much of the laundry.
How was your hair style?: okay lah. no major illness.
Did you wear braces?: nopes. clothes.
Did you wear glasses?: okay... to be exact i wore shirts and pants and underwear.
Who was your best friend?: erm... academically, Amos was the best in class.
Who was your regular-person crush?: nah. too young to noe that crushes come in different sizes.
Who was your celebrity crush?: i think that time sunyanzi had a crush on andy lau.
How many tattoos did you have?: dunno whr to buy.
How many piercings did you have?: nobody would sell.
What car did you drive?: car-zy.
What was your favorite band/group?: they were living things.
What was your worst fear?: i used to fear lizards. yea thats the worse compared to O's and and the other major fears.
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: got use meh. they dunhaf eyes and nostrils to get smoked wad.
Had you driven yet?: u mean car-zy?
Had you been arrested?: dunno. havent read till that part of the story yet.
Had you been to a real party yet?: nah... i never liked that madrid team.
Had your heart broken?: eh? no idea. wasnt allowed to peek.
Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: eh? cancel when apprpriate?

okay its tired trying to Da Fei Suo Wen already. I DONT WANT TO CONT TIS LAME THING!!


How old are you?: 18 lah
What grade are you in?: nb. act angmo. i am Year 3. poly year 3 okay. nb grade wad. u think buy bird nest ah
Where do you go to school?: Poly lah. CB
Where do you work?: CB! ask so many qns obviously i studying rite. then guai lan come ask one stupid whr do u work. like i ask u are girl anot u say yes. then i ask u so whr's ur dick?
Where do you live?: home.
Where do you hang out?: lol. under the sun.
Do you have braces?: dunhaf
Do you wear glasses?: dunhaf
Who is your best friend?: dunhaf
Still talk to any of your old friends?: dunhaf
Who is your celebrity crush?: dunhaf
How many piercings do you have: dunhaf
How many tattoos?: dunhaf
What kind of car do you have?: NNB. keep askin things that i dunhaf. FARK OFF.
What is your favorite band/group?: DUN HAF LAH
What is your biggest fear?: YOU
Have you been arrested since?: nb. i calling mata to catch you.
Has your heart been broken?: ...
Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: got grandchild

the stars are shining ever so brightly.
do i have to announce everytime i write something that i'm Abel?
we need to get some sort of differentiation going on soon.
Hee that's your job carrot.




de-stress post;

I used to think i would have a flying horse as a pet, not unlike pegasus. I would fly to school every morning, instead of waking up and waiting for the school bus. In fact, she would fly to my window and wait for me mid air while i grab my school bag. She would be white and shimmering. I can do without the horn though, not much use for it unless i need something to hold on to for balance. She likes grass (low maintenance) and shits in space (so that it floats around instead of having me clean it up). Her weakness is chocolate and grass (as in weed). (Realistically she needs a flaw, she would eat my chocolate from the fridge and i would be very bugged. In fact i would be so bugged i would ignore her for 2 hours. I don't have weed at home, she gets her yearly fix from Guantanamo)


i'm feeling slightly oldish again.
goot goot goot. This is a stupid entry. I will write another one when i stop grinding my teeth. I thought of this entry because my sisters are making the pasta again! ;)

This sucks. yea ABEL im sorry ur post appeared for only a few hours.

u know im absolutely serious now.
i tell u if i die after tonight im tellin u i was with huiling. u know going to meet somebody in this state is scaring the shit out of me. really... i love who im supposed to love. if ur reading this u know i love u in some way or another. especially those who know they should be loved by me, u know i really do. and i really regret not going to collect my phones now... i love you too!







im going out. haha i noe this is real farkin puss. u haf no idea wads ahead of me in this long long night. be with me. . . . :) . . .

Hi all =)
I'm Abel and our friend here has graciously allowed me to share this blog with him, albeit my constant naggings. I'm in the music business and have been slogging for 6years. Had the fortune of meeting amazing talents from around Asia. Am equally happy belting out my favourite tunes in acoustically perfect bathrooms or concert halls. Am intolerant of selfish behaviour. This has to end abruptly since i'm not good at concluding.

oh p.s. This blog is now associated with cooldom because i'm part of it and according to Eric, i have a ******* account so i'm cool. :p



anyways here's my first entry with a bit of editing here and there it looks as good as new.

planning ahead;

My dad told me today that i have to plan ahead. This topic comes up so often in our daily conversation that it is impossible to give it further thought. It doesn't help that the media would pull you up just to bring you down, even if there is such thing as gravity and expiry dates. I do believe in choosing our destiny, the romantic notion of going against all odds, but the natural cycle of life means that at some point, we'll have to work with the tide to create a bigger wave.

The idea of cramming my time with every possible assignments that would fatten my bank account never appealed to me. I sometimes don't have time to smell the flowers or admire the weeds on my balcony. All the new tricks and words that Jonah learnt were not taught by me. I could only succumb to his pleas of diiping his saliva coated finger into the sugar jar when i do spend time with him and my coffee. My dad's pate is looking shinier, my mum's looking shorter, my sister had a new hair colour and the other one went to santorini. I'm no sentimental fool, but it would be nice if i could have been around. But no less importantly, what have i done with the time?

Sometimes the realisation of a thousand things to be done does grip me by the shoulders so tightly that my mind goes a complete blank. I think that's what you call a panic attack. And the always childish conclusion of "I don't want to do ANYTHING" does mean that i have buckled and that they have won. To tell you the truth, i cannot stand to be defeated, and therefore will win albeit furtively on other grounds. Furtive because a secret success is weirdly wonderfully gratifying.

My friend told me sometime ago about his unfortunate experience at an American airport and how he was roughly treated since he looked like he could be a muslim extremist. After going through all his belongings and stern interrogation, they finally released him, unabashed. He then muttered almost inaudibly,

"#$%^ you very much."

The girl, who had obviously not heard him clearly, answered, "You are welcome." He took his stuff and left.

This isn't really getting anywhere. Random thoughts my dear. Random thoughts of Abel.

i haven been writing anyting sensible here for quite a long time. haha its all the emo crap and the cheena stuff eric so loves and hates. anyways... you know

HOliDAYs are so damn freakin boring. yea... not unless i throw away my laziness and take up the thousand and one jobs on offer. but still... even if i work, it'll still be boring rite. i really am going to cherish my last sem of school. seriously. i think school life is way too good to just waste away. very late to realise that now... at least i do.


dub dub dub. find me! will you pls find me? hahaha. im going to find myself. its damn corny la... but i really am going to. haha. time to pack bag and fly off to somewhere i cant contact anybody i noe. okays maybe one or two... when i run out of money. +grins+


okays abit of emo... i think its just me. ill again just end up thinking and aching after awhile. i think i should just do away with all the what-does-it-mean kinda broodings. sim ple sim ple. keep it sim ple.


do i look like i have a lot of friends? i think i do... but seriously i don't u know. i really don't.

fark i think alot of people is going to take this negatively
...haha but i pity them...

draaftie 1

风一直暖暖地刮 我的心却被ge下
回头没有了牵挂 是否还是中意他

重复上演的潇洒 真的不是故意吗
我真的不想回答 到底是我错了吗


是我太傻 喜欢何必告诉她
藏在心里 没有什么好挣扎
哭泣自己 承受就好了啊

是我太傻 一再让她想办法
一次一次 重来的心碎劈叉
不想理会 只想让自己傻


我真的一直告诉她 她真的一直不回答
这样下去就那样啊 就一直重复上演吧

就告诉我吧 。。。

又得重来一次了是吗?

im trying really really hard already. its easier now bcos ive been trying for so long. but how long can i go on... am i really that complicated?

TENS

TEN EMOTIONS.

1. are you missing someone right now: yea
2. are you happy: not really
3. are you talking to anyone right now: msn then yea
4. are you bored: im doing this.
5. are you german: no, singaporean.
6. are you brazilian: i jus said im sg
7. are you french: are you?
8. are you Italian: haha. maybe. siao.
9. are your parents still married: ofcos
10. do you like someone right now: yeaa

TEN FAVORITES.

1. televison show: a few
2. flower: lol
3. color: black white
4. sport: SOCCERRRRRRR
5. mall: jamal-l. lol.
6. music: raw
7. food: food.
8. drink: greentea
9. animal: lol
10. country: sg

TEN FACTS.
1. hometown: singapore
2. hair color: black
4. hair length: wait... i go find my ruler.
5. eye color: black
6. shoe size: eh? err 12 i think.
7. mood: bahh
8. orientation: hah... what?
9. available?: yikes
10. lefty/righty: sleepy

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
1. have you ever been in love: have you not?
2. do you believe in love: yea
3. have you ever been heartbroken: yea
4. have you ever broken someone's heart?: yea
5. have you ever fallen for your best friend?: aie... siao.
6. have you ever liked someone but never toldthem: yea
7. are you afraid of commitment: no lahh
10. have you ever had a secret admirer: siao. if u noe then not secret le wad. eh damn dumb leh


TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. love or lust: love
2. hard liquor or beer: beer
3. night or day: night
4. one night stands or relationships: relationships
5. television or internet: internet
6. pepsi or coke: pepsi
7. wild night out or romantic night: as long as its breezy
8. colored pictures or black and white: lol. see first.
9. phone or in person: person.
10. aim or myspace: ahhhh

TEN HAVE YOU EVER.
1. ever been caught sneaking out: eh why do i hafta sneak out
2. ever skinny dipped: nope
3. done something you regret: had to
4. ever bungee jumped: noo shitty i want to
5. ever been on a boat: yea
6. ever finished an entire jaw breaker: simi
7. ever wanted someone so badly it hurt: terribly
8. ever been caught by your parents with a hickey?: ohh... haha no. wads a hickey
9. ever danced in the rain?: ever danced in snow?
10.ever loved your ex while you were in a new relationship?: NOOOO

the perfect voice

bullshit.

it finally came to end. or has it? im buying it again and again...
yet again and again it pops up...


i want you to tell me what exactly is going on. just wtf.