im mad!!

oh ya!! Merry Christmas!!!
everybody sae CHRISTMAS!! Merry Christmas!! for some mysterious reason i'm in love with Christmas!! and saying merry christmas. and wearing the hat. and all the white snowy spirit! ok. thats sounds ghostly. Anyway.... it is CHRISTMAS!!

n wai is very noisy. i'm too lazy to go out tmr!! but i need to get presents! omg omg omg...
and i just renamed the Guardian Angel pres exchange to the Devil's Exchange. Muahahhahaa.... think of all the evil and mischieve capable.

ok. i'm typing randomly. freakin hell. lalala. crazy. blardy hell. shit. stupid. im in love with these words right now.

and i came home at 7pm todae?! it is Christmas and i came home this early?????
ok... im a filial boy. i came back to stay home with my parents. hee. yes... Darn.

drunk. ok last night wasn't enough. i think im going to drink again later.
oh yea! last night. what ah... shit i forgot. oh yea... went to watch this stupid show Ice Harvest. ok. it was actually not bad. considering all the strippers and blablabla... NOOO. i mean the plot and stuff and dadeedoo.... yepps. so its actually not bad. then went off and waited for bus. haahahha. n this stupid girl came along... and handed me corona. so i drank. hahahahahaa. tis stupid girl. elynn la. what stupid girl. pple got car got shoes got clothes ok. pple rich hor. although she's still stupid. but she's rich. What car?! car-penter ah... ok not farnie. so elynn saw me!! wah she saw me!! ok. not farnie again. so we went off to drink!!!! but we smart. YES WE ARE SMART. we got brains. o wait... nono. she's stupid. so she didnt have brains. ok. so she borrowed my brain and thought about it and we decided that we are going to bishan and cheers. yes. 75.40 bucks ok. it is alot ok. and we didnt just fall on the ground afta that. we staggered a little... and stammered a little and burped a little... and finally....... CHICKEN LITTlE!! not farnie!!! u asshole!!!! not farnie la!!! stop being so lame!!! stupid. ass. farkin hell. blardyhell. SIAO. hahahahhahaa.

ok so we drank. and then we flew up to blk 286 and knock on 17-92. yes... the door open. bcos i have the key. smart. and she freakin vomitted la!! on her own bag anyway.
so her bag got thrown out of the window. lucky i emptied everything b4 throwing the bag out.
she say thankyou. whahahah. then i showed her whr i emptied her stuff. in the rubbish bin. lalalalala. ok. end of story. she cabbed home after that. i think im already drunk now. think only. dun think so now. but if i just say think only... then cnnt dun think so now le wad. stupid.

haahahahahaa. im going to join superstar man. lidat can see Kelly. bcos i dreamnt of her last night. we were like good friends i htink. then she never put on cosmetics. then we were sitting in some exclusive coffeeshop like those restricted-not-for-public kinda staff canteen. so all celebrities inside. then kelly is laoya kind so she sit at corner nobody care that kind. and we were tokin bout some stuff i forgot. so i should stop. yes. stop. deh-deh-deh-deh... stop liao. wah seh. good man. u stopped. yea. i did. i give u a pat on the back. dunwan. pat is very heavy. what thing?! nothing. ok. good. so bye.yeps... bye.

just so u know im alive.!!

ok so ive been doing everything. haaha i miss YaoHua.!! yes... i noe ur reading this. i miss ur nonsense. aren't u happy that ur actually quite making a lil bit of significance in somebody else's life? like pple actually do notice and feel ur absence. ok... u noe like Dr.Chee is also missed.

lalala.
and worked at that internet shop. ok.
i should not blog abt the boss. HEE. he rocks.
i should not blog abt the job. HEE. it rocks too
ANYWAY. everything rocked la.

and started guitaring. all thanks to cj my fingers are numb most of the day. apart frm the few mins they were on the guitar and prickling pain cured the numbness.

freakin old man... if i ever do miraculously get the fone call to go work again.... BETTER DUN LET ME SEE OR I"LL SMACK THE MILO & NESCAFE CANS ON UR HEAD. THEN IT"LL HANG LIKE WHAT U DID TO THE COMPUTER 2 000 000 times.

i'm saved!!!! at least i think im on the road to being saved already.
haaha this place is full of cobwebs and very plain. and tagboard is stagnant.
and i'm now addicted to nescafe and milo.

and my dear canny. it has nuthin to do with you lar. did u seriously think my depressed state had anything to do with your nonstop visits to sing and play the piano and create noise pollution and be a nuisance to my whole family? haaha. and dun start losing confidence in urself like i am now. WE ARE THE BEST!! we're going to form a duet group and cut 2000 albums and each of them sells 20million worldwide. yes... we are that good. wahaha.

running away to malacca for a 24hr breach. i dun tink its goin to help though. im just obligated to go becos it has been paid n it is 40 bucks.
tis is slowly turning into an outlet of ambiguous ranting. your life is supposed to be YOURS. so keep it that way. yeps...

and blogs are slowly losing its hype. n tags are gettin irrelevant. close it if it seems pointless. i mean gettin anonymous childish comments are like stupid. i mean the comments are stupid. but never poke ur nose into else's business. y be bothered.

im stupid. im dumb. dun u just hate urself being confused and unaware of everything thats goin on inside you. wtf is wrong. really. just wtf?!

i swear im going to get a micPen. or whatever its name. its like by the time i get micro out n get it to record the tune goes POOF!. -gone.

bewildered. messy. struggling. baffled. uncompromising. reluctant. given.

lalala
i got my voice back!! now i can croak all i want. and ive gotten rid of all the shadows. yea!!!!

ok. so i went somewhere i forgot on friday. ohh!! Hong. yeps. i rmb now.
and on sat the music clinic thing. saw magdalene there. and the funniest of all FANG ZHONG HUA la... wahahhahaa im still laughing now. he's so freakin crap. n saw peter too. damn i wanted to sign up man... BUT im penniless. hai.
went singing after that. n i realised i found both voices back. Hee...

and i totally screwed up sunday. left wallet in dam's car n he left for work just like that. asshole. and ely couldnt wait to see her bf. so she went off just like that too. ass.
ok. so it was my fault for dropping the wallet.

ok. i am stupid. i cant get this after 5mins of thinking n reading. you'll get it if u do it in alternative ways but I cant get it using that calculation method!!!! someone save me!!! i am bothered by this stupid thing. hahaha


Three men went to a motel. The motel manager said a room cost $30, so each man put up $10 and went to their room. A little while later the manager realized the room was only $25, so he sent the bellhop back to the three guys' room with $5. On the way to the room the bellhop couldn't figure out how to split the $5 between the 3 men, so he gave each one of them $1 and he kept the other $2.

This meant that the 3 men paid $9 each for the room for a total of $27. Add the $2 that the bellhop kept = $29.

Where did the other dollar go?

hahahahaha.
when u get blown away by something you will never understand why and there would never be a reason why.
yes shut up if you're going to sae i would never get blown away or u will definitely not understand it if i ever got blown away. u noe wad i mean so shut up.haha.
ok so everything's done and everyone concerned should shutup and forget. i seriously do mean shut up and forget. even when there's nobody around. if you do understand what the hell im writing about then you are the ones i am talking about. remember to shutup and forget.

lets all be friends and live happily ever after. the world is a beautiful place and life's fascinating.

i think my hair is going to start falling.
went over to grandma's house to pass an accounting textbook to my cousin. yes. he is i-THINK-if-not-wrong working in SAF. yea n he wants a textbook - -" .fine. xue dao lao har... n i was home pretty early... like 6 plus. so i kinda cheated sayin i was thr n couldnt make it. wadever la. dosen matter.
n the medication is terrible. i feel drowsy ALL THE TIME. n i need a job. fast. n i probably need a financial planner too. YEA... to deal with my billions n billions of wealth.

and is thr even the possibility of getting somebody online now. i don like the present state of staring at a whole group list of red icons.
__________________________________________________________________

i think jj's right. u probably didnt read my post. im telling you again... I AM SORRY. n i feel that way even more now. i didnt know n i couldnt react. n i shouldnt have said those things when i should have been listening. im sorry. i really am sorry. ive always said apologies wun help "physically" so its quite enough.
can you pls talk to me... im nt askin u to forget those ive said. because they have been said. just know that i want to do something and let me do it. i know whats happening. n we both know what happened. let something end... the path is too illustrious for it to abruptly come to a halt.


sorry.

boo loo boo loo boo loo. i think im mad. im doin things totally nt the way i want to.
first i refused to go out when ive already promised JJ to IMM. ok partly bcos i was sick. YES ive been down wif tis bout of flu n sore throat for 2 freakin weeks. bud that was nt e reason.
Then i sumhow met up and asked her to get out of my life. no... actually this happened before the pangseh incident. yea... so i got e sequence wrong. anyway... yea i told her to get out of my life. i AM regretting it now. i mean with who's permission did i do that for?? n of course she cried. and left after a "i'm sorry."
this time please read this:

SORRY. i didnt mean what i said.

___________________________________________________________________

Stefanie n JJ won like how many awards that nite? they are good... bud yea its alil too much for them to sweep everything like a vacuum cleaner. u could see the shock on both their faces when JJ was named best male singer. hahahahahaha. lets hope it happens in taiwan.

yeps n i agree its wonderful to see sooo many pple who reallie do love music. n singaporeans are increasingly influential. it was already obvious a few years baq but to see it happening is all e more important eh...
call me gay. bud i still am goin to say... i think it is absolutely mesmerising when somebody plays the piano n sing. be it male or female. i was totally impressed by leehom baq then and now JJ. yeps... not the guitar or any other instruments. it must be the Piano. n a grand piano it must be. the aura of talent.

siao.

im finally back home frm e wake... and i seriously badly want to get out of my house. n wtf is everybody busy wif...

19 calls... zero YES.


Kelv - obsessed wif MSN Nudge technology, refuse to sign out.
elynn - pat tor
jean - studying... when she has alreadi graduated. - -"

suddenly i rmb they are at jervin's house.

shupin - totally into the idea that i'm not alright n is crying. claims she is drenched.
jervin - sleepy n still drooling over Surumi
Wee - ignores my calls. u ass...
Jasmine - following suit n deliberately turning off phone so that i can't disturb the two of them.

JJ - pressed call n cancelled almost immediately. i will wakeup in africa tmr if he says yes.
jasmine - busy scolding somebody n promised to call back 200yrs ago.
ben - alreadi partying off bud cuts off b4 he tells mi whr the hell he is.
florence - she's a bitch totally. u ass... lol
darius - attending dinner function
stef - flying, inconsiderate passenger.
jeremy - gaming
samantha - going swimming, yes n i bought that.
johnny - already waiting in frnt of tv for ManU match
joseph - also waiting, but he wants them to lose.
leonard - leonard is a bastard.
sylvia - not in singapore.

come on!! somebody has to be free rite! i just rmbed our dear leeHong. nmind...
u noe if ur name is up thr... u shud feel guilty. bcos tmr mornin, take a look at ur fone n u'll probably see an sms informing u abt a boy almost 18 who jumped off 17 storeys.

yall r cheekos !! feekos!! hai... y do i feel depressed. i mean seriously. nt e "DEPRESSED" on the adboards at bustops... just depressed. ok. its the same thing. bud a lot milder. n i do mean A LOT. thr is nothing majorly wrong wif me u nid to worry abt. yeps...

im shit. yea just got back results n i should have known better eh? probably took the wrong choice btwn jc n poly. im nt sayin poly is the wrong choice generally... it was wrong for ME. how can u put somebody as slack and zero self-discipline into POLYTECHNIC?? ur sending urself souththai. BUT i haf no idea how ecm n pscm came baq with both C+... i mean HOW?? i think its impossible. still... it dosen matter. it reflects the kinda effort put in anyway. n thr's no way i can argue that. n i dun dare to sign into msn. i dunwan pple to ask about results. i cant face it lah... shit. first time eh... yups.thr goes Uni and leehom can find himself another buddy to accompany him. im not goin into university. oh my... hai. thr goes my life. fuck you xuan.

im back. from chalet i mean. if u didn't noe. n it shud be called a camp. bcos we spent all the time in the room.

argh!! i had tons to blog about 30mins ago.. about the music industry.. about how i love music.. about the chalet.. about dreams.. about tons of things!! bud i lost all the impulse n .......

aiyah ill try blogging later.

HEY!!

hahahahahaha. im joyful im happy im ecstatic. no not bcos of chalet. omg... u realli do noe how to pick the right time to talk to me huh... how m i goin to sleep like that?! HEY! haha... dats darn cute.

Sun Yan zi's album is out today. go and buy right NOW!!
yeps i think its quite a good album. alot of new elements and innovation. typical sun-yan-zi album la.

ok lets tok about all these modern day fan fanaticism trends. i mean a line needs to be drawn somewhere man... u can idolise but u nid to realise the distance meant to be present and not childishly think that you somehow must get to know him/her personally and it holds such an enormous amt of piority within u. (yes im tokin bout you JJ, if u r "clever" enuf to realise...) come on... wad do u mean u cnnt leave her alone n be the all supportive fan just like all the others. this is what a "fan" is supposed to be and it should stay that way. can u just imagine how troubled somebody would be if he/she needs to entertain needs to basically "make frens" wif the thousands(the very least) who want to... ur crossing the line man.

yea i noe wad those whu know are goin to sae about me... i was how old back then?? 14? n i hoped... i did not force. n i was the very miraculous exception. if this exception gives u hope... then im sorry and u all the more have to give up that whatever pathetic glimmer of hope left.

idolise. don't extremely intrude.


haha. i cant stop. n for goodness sake im announcing ok!! i have nothing to do with whatever people i once had. so stop coming to me for favours and everything. just stop it. can u plain forget the fact that i once knew her. dun relate everything to it n stop reminding me i knEw her. i dun nid YOU to remind me.
(tis time its not targeted at u JJ, in case "clever" you take it personally... lol)

Wednesday, October 05, 2005, 11:39:49 PM

my dad took away my modem because the pc's been on fer three full daes n he's been blabbering nonstop fer that duration about the BILL BILL BILL. haha... yea so im typing this on notepad AGAIN. yea n tis time he hid it in some really secluded place. i cnnt find it... help!!

anyway...thr's this thing ive been thinking about.
if in this scenario where u and your partner have just gotten together. and u have this illness recurring after a long long time... and ur partner's BEST fren just died n the spouse is ur partner's Ex. yeps... ridiculously confusing.

and then afta the bestfren's death your loved ones come discussing with you that they think it is FATE that ur partner n the spouse are meant to be together.
and that her husband died n ur disease recurring out of the blue points to it... they hope that you leave ur partner bcos they are worried for YOU.

i dun noe. haha im crazy enuf to try solving this problem. i mean somehow u nid to keep urself occupied.there are like so many issues to be taken care of ...
your partneryour family...yourself...the spouse...

first if u love him/her... ur supposed to want him/her to be happy
But if you love him/her you would want to be with her

third you dunnoe whether him/her still likes that spouse
fourth you dun want your loved ones to be sad

fifth if you dun leave him/her, was the reason because you dun believe in such superstition or because you love him/her too much n he/she is of the same to you or is it because you love him/her and must be with him/her regardless of whether him/her heart is with you.

If you choose to leave... you are leaving for fear of the superstition coming true or are you leaving for your loved ones or are you leaving because you want him/her to be with him/her true love.

wahahahahaha i really need a job.

went nitecycling ydae. my hands are aching like nobody's business. im mad. im troubled. n dere is nothing i can do about it. yeah... all the advices i gave in the past are going to come haunt mi now. im warning u.. dun start.
ok so basically the thing to do now is to ride thru this while not losing yourself. ass.. easier said.


Blogger is under fark maintenaince. n i freakin wanna blog n then sleep... yeah so im typing in notepad. i think the mind is a complex thing, or at least mine is. it is unbelievable how all sorts of things can just come up in ur brain. imagination running wild is not NOT a good thing. things do tend to get kinda complicated as it goes on eh... n when stuff are linked to other certain stuff u hold n cling on like its life n death. it has nothing to do with you man... you mean you actually DO think u stand a chance?

FucK.... Face it.
i hate it when things turn out to be what i thought it would be. the negative results that is. it isnt that good an ability to predict these.

before i fall into slumber...

STELLA is VERY VERY CHIO!!

Siao Zar Bo was chio.... todae. ONLY todae.

Mindy is Chio!!!!!!!!

ok. done with my ranting. i can go to sleep.

stella is chio!!!!!!!!! wahhahahahahaa



i noe ive been echoing that a LOT these days... bud it is a fact. and tis pic does not 100% reflect that though.

n ive realised something else. JunJie's chang gong is absolutely fantastic. n he has surpassed a certain Chou by leaps n bounds... haha im not sayin music can be compared like this though. haaaah..... can i ever sing like them.. when m i goin to get proper music lessons... LALALALA

ok ive got two more papers... one's tmr 9am. n i haven touched the damned textbook. i can never change can i... i have no discipline....... hoo

n i went to get my fone repaired. yes... was forced to. bcos i couldnt turn it on. not turn it on.... u noe turn it on. i couldnt switch it on ...
n dey gav mi baq a spoilt one. shit motorola. i still cant charge properly for goodness sake!! does it even make sense to you that you giv one baq wif proper backlight n on-able.... but cnnt charge properly?? wads the use man....

VS is OFFICIALLY not goin co-ed.
yeps... wahahaha. looks like the petition did work. or at least i would wanna think it was bcos of it. yea the VS spirit did show itself... n i had that spirit. or did i? i think after everything... esp when they wanted volunteers to help teach the current students. im nt sure of myself anymore... maybe i responded to the petition so enthusiastically because of the hype n all the impulsive nerves running thru me at that point of time... i wasn't prepared to even help them out over the fone... much less go physically down. please.
so much has been said about seeing how victorians think-say-action thru this whole incident. bud i merely thought n said... no actions nothing. yeps. thats been me all along hasn't it... .

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the
baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he
found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied,
amour Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a
scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer
replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I
have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker
brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in
butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

We get back in life what we give to others.
Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question: Am I giving fair
value for the wages or money I hope to make?

Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and
can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know
what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves--- more
than anyone else.

Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in being brutally
honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out of the brutality than
the honesty. Choice of words and tact are important . . .

Whenever you criticise somebody, ask yourself whether you deserve to be making that comment. And always turn the finger back against yourself and ask the exact question or argument you made at somebody.

one down... 3 to go.

i think i didn't flunk todae's paper... or did i?
bud it was realli farnie todae... first the tchr in charge was tis guy whu behaves and sounds like an overgrown child. he actually went to personally check each of our pencil cases for hidden answers. wahahaha and he had his shirt tucked into his belt... NOT his pants.
then an indian guy came into the classroom while we were reading the paper claiming he's a private candidate. and he speaks with the strong indian accent. i think i was e onli one not-reading-but-looking. they were trying to communicate with ech other until the two tchrs looked at ech other n decided the indian shud report to the exams office. hahahaha.
then during the paper i kept staring into the ceiling staring into black spaces on the wall. n the overgrown incharge kept staring at mi. so i decided to stare at the wall behind him. i think he resisted lookin back until i went back to my paper. i caught him lookin back at the wall for a whole 5mins. hhahahaha!!!!
next it was crazy gerl's turn. u noe she was shaking her legs... no her whole body since the start of e paper... then tied her pants... did sumtin to her hair... all kinds of things lar. and near the end of e paper... she sumhow choked on her own saliva and started coughing n coughing non-stop. then she either noticed mi laughing or realised she was embarassing herself... she started LAUGHING n COUGHING together. freakin farnie...@#!$#@!!!! the tchr had to come over n pass her tissue and warn us to stop laughing. yea... e kid is askin us to stop laughing.

probably bcos he's goin to laugh with us if we dun stop soon...

lukito is back!! hahhaha... ive been having this urge to meet up wif all my not-in-poly frens these few daes... yea n this indon guy came baq just in time b4 the urge subside. b-u-d-g-e-t... hahahaha

my fav song is now Zhen Yi Zhi Yan Bi Yi Zhi Yan. 5mins ago it was Liu Sha. and i cant spell SCISSORS for goodness sake. i jus spelt it s-i-c-c-o-r-s. yea... time to borow my bro's textbook. o wait... i dun tink they still teach spelling of words in pri5.

i think i stink now. just nw on the train... i was surrounded by this 5 indians e whole journey. n i noe im nt racist... n i m not being racist. bud i seriously COULD'NT BREATHE la!!!! the were like palegebolegemuuneluvam all the way then this indian woman was stuffing her armpit right in my face... ok not right in my face bud it was in front of my face. the whole lil room i had was like so humid and NO AIR NO AIR!! omg...

anyway.
jus came baq from steamboating at marina. ok. i noe i've been going a bit too often than the average human. bud its good and cheap and there's a pool hall. yea... haha. bud thr were'nt any valleys. i wasted my trip!! haha... yea u noe im joking. there were tons of cheenas thr la!! i wonder wad is attracting these pple thr... it is TONS n i do mean TONS. i think its e van... they r too cheapo to take e bus. or maybe the $10... they r too cheapo to go for the $12 ones. or the fact that its a buffet... they r too cheapo to waste the $10 on other too-exp-food. or they mistook the place for ZhenFa further down the street... they r too cheapo to bother verifying the place bcos they see the food and want to join the queue ASAP.
wahahahaha... in other words they are too cheapo. o wait a min... then wad the hell m i doin thr? yesh... im cheapo. hha... bcos there are fakefins there. my fav jiao zi. empty seats. near pool hall. mama stall sellin cheaper drinks. cheaper price. free ride.
ohh oh... when we were leavin the place i went to buy drinks at e mamashop. n i was askin about e price of every drink they have in e fridge. yes cheapo. yea... so the uncle told mi all smaller bottled drinks are 1.50 . yeps... so i took minute maid bcos it looked bigger. hhaha... bud no it tastes like err expired chicken soup. so i switched to sportade. bcos it dosen onli look bigger than the rest... it IS bigger. 600ml vs 500ml. hhahahahhaa... so happily i tot i got myself a bargain.- -" bud e auntie said it was $2. lalalalala..... n guess wad i did. i went back to the fridge n switched to green tea. hai... embarassing cheapo. n pls guess why i chose greentea...





bcos the 1.5l versions of greentea is 50c more exp than the others.

was readin a fren's blog and we had the same sentiments. haha.. according to her it is a sign of growing maturity. HAHAHAHA.
yeps... i think everybody is getting upset over the slightest of things. conflicts involving n revolving me. stuff are looking completely trivial to me yet people are gettin so uptight over them. misunderstnadings n all the rubbish btwn pple... boils down to communication eh? it is all the lack of understanding and communication.

i realised that the basis of all relationships, aside from trust, is communication and understanding. many people observe, assume and then get upset. which is quite sad actually. and the worse part is, they dont confront and keep these things inside. thus leading to them having assumptions left unchecked, brewing discontentment and all that rubbish.

and i realised how people can be so different, when they are in the situation and when they are lookin at the situation. how we can come up with analogies being the outside party yet stumped when u face the exact scenarios. it realli is a wonderful world we have... don't we. n life is very much interesting. again... we shud never regret doin aniting, should we? ( :





ps. no i do admit sum upsets are well worth the frustrations. n i think i was pretty immature to have done the j/j online prank. bud no i didnt think about the incident when i was blogging tis post. so... yea... hee.

hello im xuan and i think my brother is very cute. even though he's cuter than me, i still think he's very cute. im a gay and i just confessed to sameer my feelings for him. i don't think he treated me seriously, but i was really serious about it. hopefully he'll accept me, even without me paying him five dollars a day. haha. and the sausage has gone into my stomach and im screaming at my brother now because he took the whole bowl of sausages into his room. and now, im comparing shupin's stomach with his. haha. and now, im singing to the music and reading comics, even though i should be studying for my SSM paper tomorrow. and now, im looking at this screen and reading the words on it. oh! i realized i looked like a monster. i know im the last person on earth to realize that, but its okay. at least i realized that eventually. i look better when my hair is wet and when im wearing a dark blue polo tee. it must have something to do with jasmine's and shupin's very very very tasty and sweet and yummy and delicious saliva! and im going to eat more sausages! bye! :)

ok hell week is goin to start in 4 hours time. im goin to mug like crazy im goin to do something for myself. or so i say im going to. bud e thing is i haf a final 30%exam on tuesday yet im still busy slacking arnd borrowing HArlemBeat from our dear Hong! ... yes i offered to distract his Distraction over to ME. so now im the one wif all the distractions. ok... ive been sayin these like donkey years ago... n im still over here doin donkey business. ive gotto find a way to wake up my bloody donkey mind... SOON.ASAP.RIGHT NOW.

went to grandma's house only just now. u noe im not as close with her as i would liked to... n my other cousins are far closer to her than i am. n im nt close to my cousins too. it is very weird i feel distant.. from cousins of both sides. and my maternal cousins.. they r all overseas in Unis. omg... the pressure is intense. i dun want to become the only one not to be a degree holder. n with the prospect of them all holding at least a doctorate... see what kinda mess im into now.

haha.. my uncle did this farnie thing just now. he was asking us whether it was hot... (which obviously was bcos we were perspiring like Donkeys n im still mad that they dun install at least a FAN in their house. like so blatantly ignored the stiff air they indulge in everyday. yes i used the word STIFF.)
ok back to the farnie thing. so he offered to turn on the movable/portable/mini pathetic little fan in the room. or so we thought. bcos all he did was to turn the fan towards our direction. like hhahahaha.... did he forget to turn it on or what?! he even coiled the wires n placed it nicely beside the fan. - -" when we left e room he turned the fan back to the original position. hmm-hmm-hmm. farnie eh... DA JIU.

saturday morning. wahahaha ok its 2pm bud i jus woke up so its MORNING to me. i think it just rained... cos the weather is pretty cold rite now. and todae's my bro's bdae!!!!

Happi Bdae Brother!!! (he wouldnt get to read this anyway)

*

i dun like it when pple misunderstand or assume stuff on their own part. i dun tink anybody likes that. bcos ive never said anyting... n ur putting words into my mouth. it dosen matter now anyway.. it did in the past.

im free!!! hhaha. im free of AhLing MoGui. hhahaha... maybe Mindy MoGui can come find me now.

that dae huat said sometin that struck me. he said our group was like Living in our own world. Nobody is allowed to enter n we are not reaching to anybody either. i think he makes sense.. bud sadly im e onli one who thinks that way. jasmine pauline weekiat... all appeared oblivious. maybe its me... or maybe its them. whatever it is... DUN ask mi not to think too much about it. im not going to...

ydae wasn't exactly a great dae... like how all fridaes are epected to be. we dined with Yaohua at KFC after school and it started okae. bud gradually got pretty disastrous (to us... not to him i noe) as his mouth started to blabber non-stop.

wait. i gotta go sing bdae song fer my brother.

*~~

*Happy

*Birthday

*To

*You

*~~~~

ok done.

back to Yaohua. yeps so he was blabbering. it realli was THE WHOLE TABLE OF SIX HE WAS THE ONE TOKING NONSTOP AND ALL OTHER 5 EITHER KEPT QUIET OR REACTED ANGRILY AT HIS COMMENTS.

all along ive been sayin or tellin myself we are only magnifying his actions... we're lookin stupid treatin him like that. we shud try accepting him. we shud understand him... bud afta ydae ive concluded it is intolerable... and his attitude towards issues and his comments are... absolutely hopeless-kinda. he said stuff so clearly insulting and sarcastic. im nt tokin bout stuff he said about me (yea the other 4 of u would noe)... im tokin bout remarks made which had entirely no facts to back it up with. Ive always said to start an argument only when u understand the situation and that u actually do know what everything is all about and going on... but no. he insists on doing it his way... to criticise every single thing he can think of and imagine his way through ... with no facts and no proper understanding even coming to his mind. just what the hell is his problem. and he thinks in such a practical way that every single thing and happenings involve money in this world. every reason n motive behind every action is about money. relationships and goodwill has been thrown outta his mind... outta this bloody world. i really dun noe what his FARKING problem is.

i was going to explode all the while n right until he started criticising stef. there's e bloody catalyst. i dun tink i showed it physically lah... bud i was scolding all sorts of vulgarities at him. vulgaritis of evry language evry meaning. hhaha. n i still couldnt calm myself down. i was thinkin of evy single thing i could throw back at him... just like he did... bud in a LOGICAL way... which is unlike him. he said stef face is shit... he sae she not chio. he sae she beri arrogant (yes the "What do u want me to do?" thing...) n stuff about Peter helping stef for money and all sorts of unrelated stuff. and he said... "ohh im sorry. i think somebody here is a fan of Sun Yan Zi, no wonder he's so angry lah...!! but y shud u care... she is not your sister or your auntie. she is not ur friend and she is not related to you what... u get angry oso no use..."

EXCUSE ME. whether anot she is related to me in any way has absolutely no link to whether anot i shud pass comments you have been making or get angry with pple like you making such comments la!!! u do not go around criticising people in that kind of !^@%@%">!^@%@%!*@! manner no matter who she/he is. why dun u go look at the mirror and start saying "ohh... he's so bloody nerdy and ugly and arrogant and fake and spastic and thick-skinned and kanasai!" i bet it is this I                                    I whole lot more convincing than any comment u have made EVER.

____________________________________________________________________

ok ... cool down...

u noe when i said to him understand the situation b4 makin comments and entering an argument... i tot again how i saw him at first... how i was influenced by what the others said and settin the impression already. so while trying to "see" him on a clean slate i still couldnt take it... i think he deserved it.

enough of him. speaking of retribution and deserving... im thinking like have i ever done something to deserve retribution... in anyway during my life??

im left to ponder... bud no matter wad just dont regret doin anything yea.... : )

ps: i noe the ending is kinda anti-climax.... hhhaa yes i noe.

changed the song to IL Divo's Everytime I Look at you.
i LOVE tis song. so do take time finish listenin to it ehh...
(yea i noe its like opera... it isn't.--")

hha ive been takin quite a lot of time-wasting bustrips recently.. n the time could hav been used on sumtin more productive la... HECK!

i realised something on my way home... i realised how changed ive become.. or rather how distant i am from my trueself. im not living the life i want to. not the sophisticated part of it... im tokin bout personality-wise and what i actually choose to and not to do.
do u noe how much i ENJOY SPORTS. bud it is like i dont do it at all nowadays.
i used to go cycling.. especially night cycling. from bishan to hougang. then to pasir ris. then back all the way to bishan again. i used to do it like once a week average. and i used to play basketball like mad. everyday without fail ill be playin at YCK market. playin wif frens then eventually playin wif other people. also at hougang. cycle afta bb. i used to swim too. i was so passionate about it lar... bud now.. i used to do long runs too.... YEA come to think of it i do quite afew ehh... im doin none now. n ive become so fair so fat so far.
mayb its bcos all e kakis haf gone on... n ive been plain lazy. YES ive been lazy and totally ZERO self-discipline. ive gotta save myself man. im gonna lose my LIFE if tis continues...
_____________________________________________________________________________________

you really did enlighten mi.
u say i dun noe her well enough. I DON'T.
and dats perhaps e onli thing u said thats correct.

u say im not serious about her. I AM.
u say i can't be serious when i look at other PRETTY girls. I CAN.
u say i just want somebody i can love. I DON'T.
u say i should forget about it. I CAN'T
...
..
.

yea tons of it. bud e thing is... i realli am pretty serious. lookin at other girls does not mean i am not serious about her. and a lay-off period dosen mean i dun care. i just want time... n i think i realli do need time to think about it. is it infatuation or isit something else. time to understand MY situation. time to understand THE situation and time to understand HER situation. it could be indecisiveness... bud i have all along never decided it is the right thing to do. it was forced to happen n dere was nothin i could do about it. i have'nt practised laying out my piorities for a long long time.. i think its time to salvage me and my life.

WAH. ok first n foremost...
i had a dream last nite... i can onli rmb one scene frm it.
the background is like weekiat told me he like qiuling or sumtin lidat. then the scene started... he n qiuling were tokin at e balcony or sum corridor. and at first i mistakenly thought they were holding hands. bud ofcos i said mistakenly. then afta dat i saw wee's hand tryin to reach out fer her's(my view is frm inside a room lookin out at e corridor/balcony). then he was just searching fer her hands behind his back la... cos they were standing at e railings n facing the outside yea. yea n he finally found them then she willingly obliged n they were holding hands. walked out of my viewing range after that.

yes... i hear "UR NuTS" "U SICKO" "DUN THINK SO MUCH" "XING JI SO ZHONG" blablabla...
i admit . im pretty surprised myself. yea... bud i seriously HOPE wad they alwaes sae is true. like how sumtin u rmb so clearly from a dream will never happen. cos i din realli like that feeling when i was recallin the dream. so what am i now...
is it still infatuation... like how dear old Zinger saes?

wad the hell is wrong wif me.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
ohhh i added tis afta e whole entry was written. hha. our dear old ql read dat brinjal entry... tsk.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

ok thats it. just to seperate.

yeps ok the week passed pretty quickly. had the pscm presentation which i totally screwed up fer myself n sadly fer my grp too. i kept goin "Err... thr are some problems with the slides..." n then presented info quite sum way off wads wriiten physically on e screen. anyways... thats outta e way alreadi n so is SSM. i think we did pretty well... compared to e other grp whu presented on e same dae. im jus glad the whole ting's over ... bcos i had my worst experience of doin a grp project. not that e grpmnates were in anyway bad mates.. just that I completely messed stuff up, probably successfully left the worst ever impression on my classmates. lets hope somebody's willing to be my grpmates next time round... YES it is THAT bad.

had a couple of dinners tis week. twice with jas n shupin n wee. oh no.... onli once wif wee. im turning so fat like nobody's business.... IT is nobody's business. its mine. OK. so diet is goin to resume. when did it ever start.... oya steamboat wif hong ydae. went afta e fcbc Spooky Show. it was pretty good... seriously i tink they did a pretty good job. i din like e pastor kong's speech tis year though... wasn't INSPIRING like before. yea i noe im nt christian n im an ass commentin on this.... i m still entitled to my opinions whatsoever. hEE.
saw tis superstarSILVER lookalike at marina... n she was wearin tis top that exposed her canal n she did all e scooping of soup n bbqing so... yea. Hong had an eyefeast... not me. not me. not me.

n i think ive had enough fun already. enough making fun of pple... enough havin fun slackin arnd and enough fun of wastin time away. i think we shud stop havin e pre-mentality of him being a freak or sumting... which i seriously think we do right now. he is just another person. im being an ass like that.
OK so the seemingly impossible mission:GPA4 is goin to commence. ENOUGH FUN.

one fine day.... i realli am goin to rip ur skin off and make it into a carpet. it isnt farnie la... and amazing how widespread that single post has become. it has oni been ONE freakin!%^%!@ DAY.

pls just ignore the previous post... bcos it has obviously been written by somebody else. and i DONT use BLEAH la... onli e stupid brinjal uses it.

i like QIULING!!! i reallie reallie reallie reallie reallie like her!!! i can't help it!!!!!! someone save me!!!!!

bleah~~~~~

ALRIGHT. finally i can get online n make my browser work. i still haf tis stupid adware thing though.... the blockChecker or sumtin like that. whatever. One whole week!!! i had so many things to blog... yea bud e word is had. i forgot n am too lazy to recall.

just e major stuff....
i rmb the VS matter and i rmb meeting up wif stef!! n had absolutely no other affections for her other than being a loooong lost fren. yeps... anyway. lets tok bout e VS matter. seems like awholelot of peeps r askin mi stuff bout wads happening to VS n y im this worked up about it.

yeps... so here it is. the VS entry.

ok the thing happening now is that the present principal has proposed to MOE to turn Victoria School into a co-ed institution, meaning to turn our backs on a 129-year tradition and being the only all-boys government sch in Singapore. And all victorians (bar a extremely minority: bloody Hong yes... im tokin about YOU!) are totally against the idea. So a few of them has come up with an online petition for victorians to show their dissent.

from the petition webbie:

[ About The Petition ]

Disclaimer: This petition was written by an old boy and is entirely his personal opinion. They do not necessarily represent the views of this site and its Admin.
Please take the time to read this.
You should know what you are signing.

Everything written here is factual, and based on input from one of the members of the VAC/VEC, that is, the Victoria Advisory Committee. The basic premise for the switch to Co-ed is to keep VS sustainable, as an academic institution, since you all know we’ve been going down consistently over the last 5 years.

The Need?

An evaluation done by a team of educational specialists predicted academic trends in VS over the last 5 years; apparently the school is on a downward spiral, and ultimately unsustainable. Typical slippery slope argument; our last batch pulled us back from band 3 to band 1 in the rankings, but this has been declared inconclusive evidence of a trend reversal by the VAC. But what is has done is buy us some time. The details on how, when and at what level of detail this prediction was performed at, is currently unknown. Amongst those who did this review are Mr. Ang, Mrs. Chan (principal, VJC, and thus VAC secretary), and experts from Hwa Chong Institution.

The Argument

Mr. Ang posits that we need to bring in girls into the school because 1) girls will raise the academic standard of the school in and of itself (statistically, it is true that girls do better) and 2) bringing girls into the system is the given pre-requisite for IP (integrated program) to continue, or VJC will not accept partnership in IP with VS since it is deemed to be the ‘weaker partner’. This move is supported by Mrs. Chan, who does not support IP with VS, but in her capacity as secretary of the VAC, advocates that we bring in girls into VS anyway because she is concerned for our welfare. Mr. Ang also advocates IP as imperative to keep us sustainable.
The move for Co-Ed is spearheaded by Dr. Ong Chit Chung, Chairman, Victoria School & Victoria Junior College Executive & Advisory Committees, and MP for Jurong GRC. He has also indicated that a joint-IP with TKGS or Cedar (the way TCHS and NYGH are doing IP with HCI) is out of the question and MOE has told us not to interfere with them, because it would be unfair to force them into a union under VIP just so our IP programme can take off.

What we need to do

Hence, the crux of the issue is how to keep VS sustainable academically. The proposal to become a co-ed school is premised upon the evaluation that VS is academically unsustainable.
We posit that we not only need a mass petition to signify to the school administration that there is no ground support for their proposal, but also that we know what the problems with the system are, are what can be done to make VS sustainable ultimately. Be it school culture, teachers, better attitudes or a more efficient administration, speak up.
Hence what we are looking for is a counter-proposal, an evaluation of the problems and how to solve them, to deal with the very roots of the issue. Co-ed is the thing that made us all worked up, but do not lose sight of the chief issue at hand. We need to make it clear that we have a culture to preserve, that it may be intangible but not worth any less than the tangible aspects just because we cannot quantify them. We need to tell those who say they want to preserve and save the school to know that they save nothing if they rob us of identity. Without results we would be Siglap Link secondary; we’re agreed that that’s unacceptable. With results but as another anonymous mixed school, we are nothing.

To all Victorians; you know what is good about and what is wrong with the system. Email comments and ideas to the webmaster. The Review Committee meets within 4-5 weeks time, to discuss the OVA’s official stand on the issue (no statement has been issued so far) if you have something productive to contribute, if you can stand in front of the VAC and tell them why Co-Ed is a mistake, you should let us know. Again, email the webmaster.

Victoria Thy Sons Are We.
(This write-up is written by Lin Hong Xuan, 4C, graduated in 2003)


yeps. ok i wun tok about the feasibility or viability of the proposal. what most victorians are so agitated about is the subsequent consequence it will bring to VS and what it has managed to do in all of its 129 years - to mould her students of boys into men. The VS spirit is in such abundance among victorians of all batches it would be devastating for us to see such treasured be taken away and never passed down. in some way or another any victorian would have witnessed the victorian spirit and sense of brotherhood existing between victorians, be it at the track&field or crosscountry meets the constant cheering the neverending spelling cheer... or respective CCAs at competitions. we are moulded into men of character. it is really... something being a co-ed school can never achieve. we are proud of singing the VS anthem we are proud to be waving Victoria's flag and we are proud and glad we chose Victoria.

i rmb baq when i was in the choir. n during competitions the VS spirit was thr for evryone to see. wrote this when i was using multiply:

i haf alot alot alot of memories about choir... there was e VS spirit... Vs choir is realli sumtin diff... veri difff. sumtin u can't experience anywhere else. nt SPchoir. nt anywhere... i rmb alot... when we got gold at SYF... evrybody jumping arnd. n we did e VScheer in Nanyang(SYF held dere)... every other sch was like lookin at us bud we dun cre... then got into finals. eventually lost to tkgs. n i rmb nelson sayin we did our best n he couldn't have asked for more... we were still happy though... n cheered again outside VCH.(finals held dere). bud it wasnt about the cheering... it was the unity n passion n sense of belonging n e SPIRIT.... two yrs later sweat blood n got gold again... tis time diff. tis time we were d sec4s... we were d ones leading n we got gold(barely)... it was nt success dat strucked mi noe... i juz felt relieved n happy for d choir... n bournemoth trip. went there n trashed CEDAR... thrashed all d english choirs dere... won evry single group we entered. n got best choir of e yr... dat was when i was still in sec1... d first time i felt d SPIRIT. i've been tokin bout d SPIRIT so many times, bet u wondering wad d hell is it rite... dun tink u'll ever noe... its sumting victorians will always haf a memory of... realli miss VSCHOIR....

yeps... we dont want to see evrything vanish. and i want to scold the stupid ANG. ever since he set foot in VS he has been rubbish n nothing else. yeah so he's ranting about how our results are goin downhill... bud i rmb err b4 him. Mr Chia got us into top 10. and the deprovement started after our dear APC came in?? so yea... and he is someone who breaks his own promises. Public enemy no.1

ohhh... n dere was the victorian challenge!! evry four years we would hold tis ting whr victorians would come up with challenges all of us would do. the painting of the old grandstand at geylang bahru was the result of this. it has sadly been painted white by the new occupants. our class did the challenge at new site and we came up with the idea of forming the sch badge with candles. we did it overnite.... n this is it.














i love Victoria.

i forgot wad i wanted to blog!! i rmb i was walking at my bustop i had something to blog about. i rmb walking home in e nite n had something to blog about. i rmb.... lalala i had alot alot so so many things to blog about.... but i forgot evryting. bcos my stupid com couldnt get mi online fer e past two daes... n almost did it just nw... if nt fer my relentless perseverence.

anyways... so blog about stuff i can think of now.
err... i cant think of any though. except fer stuff we toked about at istana park... all e goin baq to e past n re-enactment of evryting.

n i thought of you. i thought of too much too many.... n im beginning to miss you. u better dun let mi see u again... its gonna be head over heels all over ...

i tot sparkling gel was to make your face sparkle... not suntanning. hhe..

yeps. ehhh i dun realli like the surveyor job. ive lost evry ounce of interest and motivation i had on e first dae. i dun like the taking chances and relentless begging. i dun like the known fact of deceiving both myself and the surveyee... (surveyee is nt correct i noe... ohhh n leehom was sayin they are called idiots bcos they did e survey). was reading pq's blog... i tink she knocked sense into mi. n leehom ydae asked if i was one of those irritating pple at orchard. n i had to sae yes... like then i realised i was doin evrytin i felt irritating. im doin wad i hated others to do and im goin against morals. geez. yea... i dun wana do this anymore. im going to quit.


i think im goin to become a taxi driver when i retire. bcos i like e smell of e taxi we took just now. ok... mayb i shud work in that air purifier company. anyways... its decided. going australia fer bungy jumping.... also thailand backpack. n cruise... i need to save from now on.


yea cabbed home just now. from orchard. hha.... we were so pathetic just now. can u imagine packing BK to paragon... eat outside sushi-tae on a bench.?? yea... we freakin did that just now... la-la-la. ohhh... n i tink im opening a pub next time. bud first... i need a new job.

i so wana sing right now. i want a kbox room in my house...

ohh... n derrick got eliminated. his exit is by far the most touching one... n perhaps the most sincere n real?? ohhh n did u see how Xinhui and Kelly were hugging n jumping arnd when Xinhui was announced to have made it through... n then the brief hug with silver. i think silver herself is glad that she got eliminated. atleast she need'nt have to go thru e competition alone. she seems to have little friends since the semifinals. maybe bcos the other xingji zhong people did not haf e looks she had to carry them thru... n mum said she sounded arrogant durin the eliminated interview. hha... she can sound arrogant in any way she likes... shes -gone- anyway.
hmm... we're facing the possibility that our very first JueDui Superstar could be WeiLian. im not realli discriminating the handicapped... or maybe i am. but the thing is... i reallie dun wan to see him crowned superstar. i noe its mean i noe its not desirable... n im not goin to heaven just by the thought itself. but i seriously wished derrick instead of him would have made it through. i didnt catch last nite's performance though.......

anyways. enough of superstar.
i cant believe i finished two reports n a ppt presentation in one night. hhaha... i haf a sense of achievement. bud i dun like myself... my role in tis year's class. im not being myself here... like why i dun noe. i missed meetings and seems like on my way to being a freerider. and that stupid gay.... yesh it sounds fun and kinda interesting cos it was quite unthinkable that this would actually happen. bud im gettin tired of it.... n im gettin real tired of his face... his way of talking... his smile... his specs... his sitting posture... HIM. Can You please leave me alone... can you please get out of my sight. yes... i mean it. GET OUT of my SIGHT. im sorry... bud u realli realli realli IRRITATE me. you better dun let mi see u in sch later.... which i probably will...- -". just fark off.... seriously. FUCK OFF.

frankly... one more day of this.... the next time i see you and ur stupid face im going to give you two middle fingers and smash ur face into YOUR lunch. and please return me MY yearbook. yes... in case u forget.... MINE. im nt being petty... its just YOU. yes you PI YAN.

came baq from the surveyor thing.... i m super tired. n i m super busy.... i m sortof busy. im supposed to have completed UCCD n ECM report by tmr... okies. TODAE. bud my whole body is aching and my feet are screaming fer a massage.!!! yea... MASSAGE!! MASSAGE!!

do u hear that? ok... i m lame.

anyways... the job pays like quite averagely bud e thing is u get to earn more if u work more. so im like quite inclined to continue even though its pretty hard work. yeps... n one more thing. do u noe wad that weirdo did todae.... he sprang into the seat in front of mi out of nowhere... stared n farking said these unbelievable stuff.. : Wo Xiang Zhao Yi Tian Wo Yao4 Yao1 Qing Ni Lai Wo Jia.

what the fark...

it is like i dun mind if err the likes of Qiuling or Mindy or whichever chiobu i haf identified in sch to come up to mi n sae these stuff..... bud it is so irritatingly that AH. yea... in how he so happily calls himself... PI YAN.

__ n he added mi on msn. sent mi an sms. borrowed my yearbook. suan-ed mi.

he is so going to die.

do u noe like how many pple dislike him... n its err hha quite fun to see so many pple blogging about him. not that so many pple r blogging bcos they dislike him... its like how he is generating so much attention from pple... OK i dun think im goin to heaven now.

n thinking of it i had such a friend once. maybe he ain't this disliked lar... bcos i rmb a couple others told mi they found him quite ok back then. anyway... yea i had such a fren. n i became his pretty good buddy. n pple were askin n askin... like how i could be such good frens with him... how do i even tolerate hanging arnd with him around... how frankly, i CAN accept him so friendly-ly. he was tis realli spoilt brat(im nt sayin he isnt now im jus sayin he was baq then)... n evrytin about him was so arrogant n irritating. n pple were so disgusted by him... n i haf tis fren up till now still refuses to even be within 100metres of him. lol... yeps. bud i think the thing to do is to stay away if u really cannot stand yh. n if u can.... try to understand him lar... maybe at first u would gradually find him more n more irksome.... bud just try bearing with it eh? or tick him off....
i did with my fren back then... when we sortof got to know ech other more i started tellin him what pple r sayin like in the face... i duno whether that helped. bud i did not find him to be that intolerable... n even tried talking pple into accepting him... yea. . .

ANYWAYS

went kbox-ing ydae!! hha... yeps with e clique n yh. hha... they were like screaming about the era he chose his songs from... cos they were all oldies, realli out of reach to them. bud i could sing them !!! eh-heh.... probably bcos i started listening to stuff realli young n wahahahha maybe im gifted! nmind.... n i think we were super mean to him. like half of his songs got cancelled some reason or another... Jas n shupin(Hi!) said i was suaning him nine outta ten sentences when on our way thr... tsk. ok... maybe i did. im goin to cut down... im goin to restrain...

now... i did the exact same thing back then!!!! i also suan-ed that friend in front of him... n pathetically behind him too. n i rmb hong sayin im a fake fren bcos i befriend him and then tok bad with the others about him behind his back. o wait... i nid to go strikeout the anyways upstairs bcos im baq at tis topic again.
yea... we sortof stayed outta contact fer quite some time alreadi lar. bcos i couldnt quite stand him more n more... not his daily antics bud his attitude n mentality. how he complains about his mother n how he treats her n stuff.... dun quite wana tok bout that. yea... n i found myself more n more prone to zhan-ing ta de pian yi bcos he was err.... AIYAH! i jus wanted to stop zhan-ning him lar... yea so n one dae i duno why scolded him like crazy... ticked him off real hard. he subsequently scolded mi back.... n lemmi tell u he realli is so pathetic bcos i dun think he himself knows wad he was scolding about... it made absolutely no sense totally irrelevant n incoherent. yeps... i jus felt like wrting all that down. hha... o shit!! i think he reads tis blog... .. ... .... ... ... ... heck. written so much alreadi.

todae is national dae!! let's wish Singapore a Happi Bdae !!!!

yay...

ohh... n i duno heard from where or who... : asked tis person why tis person dosent smile that much... he said because whenever im smiling, dere is somebody else who will be frowning, crying, hurt.

sounded true at first... bcos it is like when we smile it is bcos we're laughing at a joke... laughing at somebody... blabla. bud thr r times when we can be happy bcos thr is sumtin to be happi about? like a good harvest.... erm ? ? . ok i duno wad im tokin about. o wait... bud even if u haf a good harvest, thr wudb somebody w/o one... so u realli shudnt be happi.... OMG. forget it.

im so bloody fullllllllll!!!!! i drank 3 cups of bubble tea n 1large sprite... dat is realli ALOT. the bubble tea was meant for shuFen lar... she was workin in j8 n i saw her... n decided to do her e favour of buyin bubble tea fer her entire Giordano outlet staff. Hong n I wanted to drug all e drinks lar... then Giordano wudb w/o staff and pple can simply go in grab anyting they want. anyway... we bought tis TOMYAM bubble tea fer her... hha EXOTIC flavour.. the auntie invented tis combi... n it was suposed to taste great. lalala... we ended up havin to finish e stupid ting ourselves.. ok lar in fact it was ME whu finished the ting.. it wasn't sour not spicy ... it was sweet - - ". n it sucked ...
speakin of sucky stuff... sevenswords is also sucky lar!! it realli is sucky... i didn't like e pace of the movie.. n the storyline was err... average at best. no flashy special effects n Leon lai's acting is gettin frm bad to worse. the bad guy was farnie though....
.
Ta Men Yong De Shi Shen Me Wu Qi?

Jian.
Shen Me??!! Qi Ba Jian?! ........... whacks the poor messenger wid the guitar. ok it was the PiPa.

hhahahha.
ok now makin up on all e missing entries. o wait... i haf alot of stuff to make up!! ok... im not making up fer the last one... n nt writin bout e chalet. i din realli enjoy e chalet as much...yea.

ANYWAYS...

ydae was fun. went to meet kelvin to plae pool afta sch. i went without a single cent lar!!! no... i had one.. two.. three................15cents. yea so i went to plae pool wif 15cents... ohh!! huat was supposed to come along wid mi bud bcos our dear kelv could onli *theoretically* make it earliest at 2 so he went instead to jP. kelv made it onli at 230 la... btw.

afta dat... met up wif jas n shupin n wenyi n peiqi. e latter two went to perm their hair into the taitai style. costs a whopping 150+ leh... i can never ever part wif that kinda money. yeps... anyway while they were busy perming their hair... the 3ofus roamed the strts of orchard. went to Heerens then to places lar... n there was tis err... Glass Enclosure at e top of Paragon. we sat thr fer awhile... it realli was an enclosure!! we were like sum freak animals sittin inside and pple were seriously staring at us from outside. realli... ... until e security came chasing us out. claiming it was TRESPASSING. halo... its so lame lar... n like pple kept comin in to smoke?? n he looked more like the zookeeper than a security guard. o erm.... zookeepers generally do look like security guards. i meant his uniform looked like one... no come to think of it his looked like that of a janitor. . . wadever la. la. la. la.

okies... now about the farnie inlove thing. i dun realli noe how to put it.. i guess im realli persistent when it comes to stuff like that? it is like... until... the... day... i... see that she has a partner i wun realli giveup. not giveup like the siChanLanDa kind... the kind that sumhow still have that lil tingling feel in ur heart. yea... n that day when we finaly started e conversation on the issue... she sounded realli suggestive. yea... maybe its me... ithink too much anyway. yea... she sounded quite suggestive bud in e end it still was... err not that positive. yea... n paul was here that dae peeping at my chatlogs... he said when she wrote sumtin like thr wun be any result if u con't likin mi.. she meant if im goin to onli like her n do nuthing, nothing is going to happen. . . so u see it reallie isnt my fault i think too much. n i still haf no idea how people could guess their way to figure out i liked her... it wasnt obvious lar!! i swear it wasnt... ohh yea n she asked mi to stop. i dunnoe how to ...? hw can u just stop bcos u want it to stop... like i want the earth to stop spinning or drop mi a couple of millions rite now it wont lar... i cant stop.
hai...

oh god!! can u like take tis piece of memory outta my brain??? n pls replace it wif a new one... my pc is oredi lousier than most... i dunwan my brain to haf less disk space too... crap.
err bud frankly... wud i want to erase it if i had e chance to? i mean would you want to do that... bcos it still is sumtin u could rmb fer e rest of ur life... ok maybe not e rest of ur life bud fer quite some time isnt it... n e last thing u want is to... erase the ting. n fall in love with her all over again...! hha...

Your Penis Name is: Captain Kirk

Get your own Penis Name

Your Birthdate: November 23

With a birthday on the 23rd of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility. Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

i duno wads wrong with me. seriously... i've never had tis kinda SADNESS engulf mi like it is right now... n i frankly wana cry all my tears out. ok maybe there was once back like two years ago i had tis shit before. yea baq when she announced it.
i think im breaking down and i am fallin apart... i seriously am fallin apart... my mind isnt working and all so many issues hovering arnd my head...











i am so tired. i am so sick. i am so speechless....              i am so i think i am ... in love.
shit.

moodswings r the worst n most hideous disgusting irritating thing in the world !!! im bothered by ... err sumtin. n i am so freakin %$@&@#@! ..

ydae i went to DaBoMu's house... hha. its one of ur uncle's wive la... u noe all e complicated permutations their chi names can have...
yeps so i went to her house... like after i went shoppin fer chalet food wif qiuling, huat n .... wait!! i forgot to sae e most important two things la!!! my fish died.... one of them. :( and im goin to chalet fer e nxt 3daes!! yay...

i noe dey r contradicting moods la.

dat like accounts fer my mood swings.

ok so im supposed to tok bout e Dabomu house ting, went to buy food ting, my fish n the chalet..

Firx... my fish. yea it died. afta erm... 3months since i brought it home frm its warm n friendly environment in the fish farm wif all its compatriots swiming arnd in d not so big yet not so small tank. :( i m so not happi about my fish. im left wif two.

ok now e buy food n dabomu ting. yea we went to buy food... n we basically bought food lar... hha. nuthin much bout that. bud i was so super tired afta dat lar... n i had to tow myself all d way to bkt panjang? yea... omg. i wana sleep... continue afta chalet . if i still haf e mood. hha.

i m soooo tired now.... reached hme like 20mins ago... n i shudb snorin in bed lar. y the heck did i insist on comin online.. arrrrrr!!!! i cant see a thing!!!

erm dats bcos ur eyelids r closed?

ohh.... ok. no wonder i cant see a thing. thanks btw!

SHOUT n SHOUT! im shouting!! ARHH!!!!!!!!!!

thr's literally ur bdae shout STEFFY!

u noe u shud realli start to grow up and stop eatin chocolates like you'll nbr grow fat...

wahahaha... thinkin of you erm a few years baq? i think i realli miss that old you... now nt that much.. ... ...

NO! hha... jokin gerl! ur a stunningly gorgeous lady rite now... serious. bud some part of you realli nids uPP-ing... whahahahhahahahaah. u realli do haf a heart of gold... it is quite unbelievable to have a fren so kindhearted. seriously ive been touched dunno hw many times alreadi... e things u do... dun let that disappear... : )




anyways... hapPi bdAe lassie!!!!! doodeedoo.

go on... run along wif ur danny boy.. hha

somebody!! anybody!! pls wake tis IDIOT up !! he is wasting his poly life away... n potentially his future. yes... tis is e one of e rare cases when havin a HUGE potential is not that desirable...

im at a fren's place copying whatever stuff she has... she has a music library like comparable to half a CD rama... n im takin ages to transfer the stuff. Lalala... hhaha jus now was chattin wid leeHom n we were like tokin bout bubble tea baq then when it was still a craze... yea n if anybody remembers everybody was like shootin e pearls wif e straw at evry target in sight rite... wahhaha! so canny n i decided to relive the experience.. loL. jus now we were like doin craZy shootin. she is like starin at e screen atm... AnyWay.. hha i aimed at her chest n she aimed my groin... we had tons of pearls to plae with eh... made them ourselves. So we blew n blew... (shes sayin "blow" is lewd lang..) ... n we ended up like that... :





                        


WAHAHAHA!! i was like havin a bunch of grapes dangling at my zippers n her external nipples grew on the singlet... LOL! it is so damn farnie....



i'm reliving my childhood... HHA
canny says her cartoon pic is ugly and she is a lot prettier than that. yes... with her nipples on !!

ive been NOT in school fer e past two daes... hesitated when e onli thing left to do was to get my ass outta the house. yea... n i totally wasted the two daes at home... slackin n wtchn tv. i dun realli like e idea of wasting what little time we have ALIVE away on some meaningless and absolutely pointless... ... ... stuff. bud ive been doing that fer the past 5years... Tay Xuan has been squandering whatever time that could have been used to do many other influential things in his life... he is not the Tay Xuan i know and he is not the Tay Xuan he was expected to be. Haven't u disappoint enough people already? some not once but twice thrice? dun u ever get tired of asking urself the same questions over and over again... just what the HELL is ur bloody problem? what the fuck were you thinking. Wakeup man... do sumtin to your life while u still can... dun flunk again here... tis time there isn't a way out.

okae it evolved into a self motivating session... n ironically im blogging here when i haf a report due tomorow still freezed at the "newpage" page... yeas... it is lastmin work again...

OHH... lets tok about Project superstar! i haven't said aniting about it ever rite... It is so DRAMA lah... hhaha ok argue that it is e main thing about the whole show... bud still it is so freakshly drama. i liked that sunshine tan girl frm e start... bud she went out like immediately soonafter i declared her the eventual winner. then the Pair of derrick n kelly. they looked to have mass appeal to me... it just dosen't make sense DOES it??? and so therefore if the script is written consistently Chanel and Macy shud b out afterwards... together with William n the soundlikeChenXiaoDongbutiforgothisname guy. YES n the rest would realli be our IDEAL superstars huh... n ironically we... r... voting ... for ... them... .

n e increasingly annoying M1. the guy whu sang jie tuo and iforgotthesonghesangthisround. i m realli beginning to hate him. hha... too strong a word. bud he is irritating lar... he tries to meddle n plae too much with his voice evrytime without fail... n does all e funny tricks to make himself unique eh? yes u hafta be unique... bud they didn't mean uniquely irksome. n im sure e judges had all these vulgarities prepared to be thrown at him bud obviously made to be hold back reluctantly bcos we're on national television.

speaking of judges!! ok... im really beginning to not understand them. especially just now... the girls i tot was gd enuf was rendered bad n e bad ones... given like --"ly high marks.

yes i shouted WTH 3 times in succession. okae... again they r the PROfessioNALS yea... blabla...

hha... i am so dead. here iam ... 1226am. the dae of my HRM ca1... covered onli e very first function of the veri first part of the very first chapter. im eatin toast and drinking cereal... im enjoying life huh!!



oh how in e world m i goin to get that gpa 4.0 to take mi thru to Uni? its my fault again... bud i m still slackin the night away. omigod... n y m i blogging tis down when im better off studying? or at least playfully flipping thru the lecture notes...


OMFG! hha...

im still doin research on e greater China's population stats... never thought i would be this interested. haa... bud it sucks anyway. all the crap sites want mi to pae fer their stuff... ASSes. bud i think im done more or less.... i think. Heck!

i am so not happi wif life... wif MY life. Yes... mi myself is e main reason it sucks... i jus dunwan stuff to turn out e way it seems to be. i hate e way things r lined up to appear when u dunwan them to n vice versa. n i hate e way things turn out not exactly like wad i projected it to be...

i m not a good friend. SON. brother. cousin. uncle. nephew. student. neighbour. employee. PERSON

.

n tis blog sucks. stupidly plain... updated annually... n e design sucks. i stole n disfigured. somebody... anybody... offer ur help to mi. haa.

oohh.... n my haaloohaa classmates did another haaloohaa todae. ten of them( inc. a couple of their not-my-classmate buddies) were bugging hirzi to dance in e middle of fc6 fer 10sec bud he fucked all of that off so they decided in d end he was to dance on e table fer 5sec. LOLLL.... so evrybody was waitin fer e stunt n he slowly went up e chair den e table. HAA e moment he stepped up tis guy in d group screamed like MADLY freakin lOudly OIIII!!! n pointin at hirzi. HAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!! it was like tis loud... #$%^!%^%@!(@^(*^#!*&) n literally frm one end to e other ... e whole fc was like dead quiet n all staring at him dancing n jumping arnd on e table.... ahhahahaha!! he got his applause though...freakin farnie.

Sleep.

im disillusioned by everything... i have a terrible headache caused by drinkin too much milk??.... and i terribly wanna sing... YALAMATELOOO... it means FUCK whatever deserves to be.

mY bag is freakin biG!!!!! haha. ya e stupid crumpler bag is sooo big lar... n to maximise e enormous space available to myself i stuffed every single piece of notes into it thinkin i dun nid to pack my bag i dun nid to be worrying about sittin thru lectures emptyhanded i can haf everythin i nid if i feel like studyin. BUT of course... i still sit thru lectures emptyhanded.. n i obviously dun study. so e onli ting i succeeded in doin is to tire my poor shoulders wif e gigantic load of books n end up aching when i rch home. Haa! still... im "persevering". persevere is a nicer word... than "stubborn" n "insisting" n "....."

pls visit www.shabdksiwndaijdlnwnnhinsdfaff.com to make a donation.

ooh... n i was doin sum serious pondering dat dae. it goes like how we cannot choose to be who we are when we're born... like evrybody else dun alreadi noe. hhaaha. bud it is dat we could haf ended up being somebody of a different race.. a different gender a different nationality. imagine urself tob a malay... urself tob indian or eurasian or ani race u can think of... u couldb in e busy streets of NewYork or e wilderness of Africa or e poverty of Afghan. u could be a female or a male or a homo... it is like we look different think differently becos we choose to? it is like we were all part of a jellybean jar... n somehow somebody picks us up n throws us into e pipehole down to whoever we are now. so we were all e same isn't it... maybe dere should never have been any barriers... or distinctions of any of us... any country any race any gender? ok mayb not so e gender part... hhaha bud it is like maybe we were meant to learn e same language be e same breed n one kind... hehe n im havin fantasies of us being part of another world... earthlings are onli a tiny weeny planet n e whole galaxy is filled wif so many other forms of LIFE. so maybe "DifferenT" is a word barred frm comin up in ur mind e nxt time u see anybody... be it frm ani country ani race any form physically mentally handicapped or not...

n speakin of birth n being born... all of us have dreams don't we. there is that little or huge SOMETHING u realli hope will happen. bud how many of us r actually doin sumtin to makeit reality. it just lingers around n pops up occasionally... bud we dun seem to be literally chasing that "dream"? i seriously think nuthin is impossible.... or what we sae nt given the chance... circumstances do not allow... or simply UnablE. isit realli that way...? or r we settin barriers mentally already...

hhaha... im suddenly exercising my brain alot tonite...
n do u realise how cliched we thought e stuff adults said to us n usin e phrase "bu tin lao ren yan .........." it was Nag n YeaYea baq then... bud along e way u tend to realise how they make sense eventually n how TRUE they suddenly appear to be... hmm.

its all starting to fascinate again. everything around us. the world. life. Haa! ;p

so many things to blog, so little time. hhahahaha!!! anyways...
yea i've got a new class sch started like a week ago... n i got my zenMicro. FINALLY.

oya... regarding e last post.
people haf been sayin its just me n its normal n its selfpity. ya e comments haf been somehow somewhat alot mre negative den i expected. hha bud what i meant was i am LITERALLY optimistic. as in OPTIMISTIC in e very and most optimistic kind... yea? hhaha... it is lookin at a situation an object or even a person... and thinkin in an entirely diff manner frm most people. n dat is definitely not 95% of e world... hhaha
wad 95% of e world feels is dat dey r living in a world requiring them to wear a mask... it is within control yet forced to abandon. when ur crying that out to evrybody else whu is facing dat... THAT is selfpity.
bud i dun hafto smile... i dun NEED to be wearing that mask... in fact dey r two totally diff masks we're tokin about. i am Not pitying myself. n i seriously do not like how i am branded like that. ok maybe optimistic is too general a word. misinterpretations maybe. bud definitely... not evrybody is e one making everyone else laugh n smile, certainly not 95%. n again... i realli do not like tobe branded a selfpity... moreover accused w/o serious thought to it perhaps..?.



Period.


SCHooL!!
hhaha... n i realised i miss sP quite alot. n i miss 22 la... tis new class is err... New to mi. ok craps... bud whu is e dingdong bugger whu put mi into stage B??!?!!?! y m i seperated?? u chingchong looliiiloolaaa keelaapaalaa piak!! . . .
okies... my class is basically made up of two classes frm last yr. which btw is e norm except fer mi. all thanx to e bugger... ya so dey stay in deir own grps... n i've been like hovering arnd e grps. hhaha... i need more time... YES i need MORE time!! OO
e class is very weird la... i find it very weird... e unexplainable kinda weird. ;p
ohh oh... n dere's tis classmate of mine who's plain crazy. she is veri... weird. hha...
she is alwaes late fer classes... hha n looks super blur de la. n her eyerings r super huge n dark. n imagine her wif fringe covering most of her eyes. tis was who... or rather WAD i was wif fer 30mins on an mrt. she was sick n i was Ponning sch... coincidentally took e same train. n on e train... she was wif her fringe n eyerings...
she started tokin to herself!! she started tellin jokes to herself n laughing to herself. n she stared into thin air n said " i can see you but i can't catch you!!". . . hhaha she is freakin MAD.

n i got my zenMicro. yaY... n my dad is screamin about utility bills reaching skyhigh figures... ill almost definitely blog again tmr. yes...

somebodyelse's blog...



~T I R E D~

i'm very tired..
i'm very stressed..
i'm very troubled..
i've not enuff rest..

i need time..
cox it's running out..
i need a shoulder..
cox my tear is flowing out..

my head is spinning..
i can't stop thinking..
i'm not focusing..
cox i'm day dreaming..

tired of thinking of others..
tired of caring for others..
tired of asking so much..
tired of concerning too much..
tired of always giving in..
tired of taken for granted with..

basically.. i'm jux tired.. realli tired.. sometimes jux think that i'm so stupid.. think i'm going crazy.. can even forget i've got a presentaation today.. when tat's the main purpose i went to sch..my mind's not working correctly.. gotta see a doc.. Mmm.. insanity.. laughter is the best medicine.. think it's sold out at the moment..~

____________________________________________________________

Me: sumtimes u juz sit dere n wonder... y cant u juz let evrytin out... y cant u scold n nag n vent ur frustrations n wadeva... u noe u want to... bud juz cant rite... u juz cant do it... e smile comes on automatically... hahax... it dosen feel good sometimes... bud thats sumtin we have n the others dun realli... :D so cherish.

E: yeah.. perhaps.. tat's the part.. smile.. it's good n bad..who understands..? it's the smile tat pple could see onli..
____________________________________________________________

hahaha... im alright. i jus wanted to announce to the whole wide world that thought... see how my breed is feeling different from others. you may envy our ability to smile and be happie all d time... bud in actual fact we aren't happie all d time... we LOOK happie all d time. yeps... its just a mere exclamation hahaha... mere. HeE.....

i'm beginning to realise how optimistic i am... as in totally. completely way too optimistic for my own good. im seeing things in an entirely different light from others' perspectives. am i doin myself more harm den good? yes being optimistic is alot better than being pessimistic. being optimistic means having the smile on ur face ALL D TIME. being optimistic means lookin cheerful and no worries. Being optimistic means being lonely and mystic. it means not having somebody to realise ur feeling down. it means hiding your real self behind e mask u have been wearing for so long not on your accord. it means losing control of ur ability to display sad... sorrow... unhappiness.onLy JOY. it means the spending of nights alone when you needed someone to be there like you have been for them. Being optimistic means being the happy fruit(direct trans pls... :p) for everybody. being optimistic means feelin joyyee most of d time and deemed NOT serious.

yes i am serious now. it realli is ..... that those who bring joy and laughter to others are often the ones being neglected. have u ever realised that when somebody is the class clown or joker in ur groups he makes people laugh... but there isn't anybody to make him laugh like u did. that when somebody is alwaes there with the smile to brighten up your day... he is facing all your frowning faces that is dappening his day. have you ever realised that when SOMETIMES you start calling these people who make you laugh NOT serious is because u yourself isn't feelin good like he is and u just plainly ignored the fact that he is feeling good and cannot help it. you don't understand them... u know how reflex it is to smile for us? sometimes you just want to not smile and plainly swear at anybody's face. but no... the :) comes out straight away. see how even a ":)" can change your mood?

kelujayermiawen came outta his house to admire his brand new truck. as he was walking down he could hear loud heavy bangs coming from the garage. to his amaze his son, SkelujayerOmiawenN was busy hammering dents to his truck. when efforts to stop him by shouting was deemed futile, he rushed over grabbed the hammer and aimed at his son's hands knocking "Don't stop right! don't stop right!" his son's hands were beaten into a pulp and rushed to hospital when kelujayermiawen calmed down. despite desperate attempts to save them, SkelujayerOmiawenN's fingers had to be amputated. When SkelujayerOmiawenN woke up and saw his bandaged hands, he innocently said "dAd i'm sory bout your truck."

then he asked, " But when are my fingers going to grow back?"
kelujayermiawen went home and commited suicide.


see how people do things rashly and without thinking. i mean it could be little things like a comment or jibe innocently made... or a huge mistake like a slap to your very and most loved ones. sometimes ... saying and truly feeling sorry would not be enough by then.
We all make mistakes... we ARE allowed to make mistakes. yes ur rash actions is a mistake by you. but alwaes remember we need to account for our mistakes. Pause and Ponder. Always. You have the right to be angry... dats it. Period. you've got no other rights! no right to be cruel... no right to condemn others... no right to even judge others... and no right to HURT.

hollowness felt so deeply you could literally hear your heart waning. and the dumbest of ideas to shut yourself up. no sound could be heard other than your own. no love could be felt. no path to be seen. until now you say u felt the same. until now u say something could have been done. does it matter i ask you. will it change anything anything i ask you. can i have you back..........iaskyou.



i came in when you were having your third shot... i saw your meteoric rise to the dazzling heights you are now. but only now do you lower your head to have that glimpse of me i've been waiting for too long. at least i know now i have a place in there.

yes i MISS you!! don't givmmi anything now.. not now when i've overcome whatever shit you have made me gone through. not now that you want me to go through everything all over again.. first shot everybody could see what you're capable of. second shot you cemented that belief. third shot you brought me into you and matured gorgeously. you grew up. fourth shot you were tired. fifth shot you couldn't take it anymore. sixth shot you gave your very last gasp. seventh shot you did not even bother waving to mi and left. eighth shot you came back with entirely new found meaning and hope. have you ever wondered where i was. im still back at your first cry. i want you back. not the one now. she's somebody else's. i am not expecting anything. all i have are memories. just go... yes i am cruel. but to myself or you iaskyou for the last time.

haa... :)

i don't wanna lose you, i don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And i don't wanna hate you, i don't wanna take you
But i don't wanna be the one to cry.
That don't really matter, to anyone anymore
But like a fool i keep losing my place, And i keep saying you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes Love just ain't enough.

Now i could never change you, i don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes i may have hurt you, But i did not desert you
Maybe i just want to have it all
It makes a sound like thunder, It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where i used to lay

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know its your heart they can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes Love just ain't enough

Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.

yePs... tis blog was reviVed by mi... haa

went singin ydae n missed e FA final. dosen matter...
onli ydae haf i realised how mch i missed you. how u haf left such an amazing impact on me. and how long of your life i haf walked with you and you haf mine.

the very realisation of the totaL blank when ur removed from e past few years of my life.
no... i don't want to know.

yay hahaha. kae i shall blog about my job .
nO la... !! in fact i jus wanna blog about tis colleague at john liL. cos he's jus plain farnie! he's called gerard... n he's 50yo... his moustache r unshaved.... has a big belly... is not tall... nose hairs are shootin outta his nostrils like sum tree branch... n mucUs (lucus... loL if ur readin tis) sticks on e extended "outdoor" nose hairs like sum bloody shiT!! gross... eyes look weary n sleepy all d time... n his voice is like Moses lIm's plus abit of gay... can u jus imagine such a person hovering arnd u all d time 6daes a week?? ok... b4 u start puking....

yeps he's my colleague... n he's darn Cute. he's been dere fer 32 years already... bud evrybody else bullies him like he's been dere fer 32 mins la... loL. wich is y im oso part of e gang dat bullies him... bcos ive been dere 6daes alreadi. waY past his 32 mins... okies. outta pt.

tis gerard... accordin to another old guy dere is a subnormal parasite who is hired on an annual contract. n he's been hired fer a freakin 32#@!@# YEARS?? loL...
he dosen work.... dosen use his brain... n is a freakIn loser la...
he's got lotsa secrets... n he's a bloody flirt... nt that anibody is bothered la...
e other old guy everytime wud shout to him... "GERARD DE CRUZ!!!!!!" then he'll come out from his hiding place ... "yyyyyes?" den he'll crap at gerard n make us laugh like monkeys...

ooo... n his secrets... i onli noe 2 now... he once got two transvetites near our workplace... to giv him blowjobs fer 150bucks... hahahahahaha.
n he bought 200bucks worth of chocolates n pen fer a gerl.... or shud i sae auntie... loL.

dats nt secret to most of us... bud if u let his mum noe about tis... wahahahaha!!! u shud haf looked at his face... begging n nearly breakin to tears...


okies its quite bad actually... i mean... treatin him like that... y m i experiencin remorse straight away afta i write about him...?? omigod... he's quite kelian... come to think of it. argh...
anyways... argh... afta a week's work. im nt feelin anitin particular... i dun feel anitin about e job... is that supposed tob good or bad... bcos i dun hate nor do i like e job.

ooOOO... n dere r two MuTe pple dere... ah hock n pHilip. i dunno exactly e correct n NICER way to address them other than mute pple lar. i noe dey wun feel good being called dat. bud iseriously dunno wad to write... yeps. philips... im closer to him rather than hoCk.

i learned sign lang frm him...!! hahaha.. jus e basics actually. n u realli do ponder n realise stuff onli when dey r right in frnt of u... how dey muz b so frustrated when dey cant get deir message across... dere r occasions when he jus tried n tried gesturing n drawing n writing to me... yet i jus simply cant acknowledge it. hai... a world of total silence. dats unbearable...

he wasn't born deaf n mute... it was... a fever when he was young. his mum brought him to hospital too late. haven't we seen tis on tv on books on radio umpteen times... tis time its real. n he's frm a well-to-do family mind you... n he's clever too. smart in many ways... such a pity. wad would it be if he did get to hospital...

all said... he's still living a happy life... he still enjoys his weekends cycling... fishing... i think he enjoys his life now... hahahaha. im smiling fer him... im happi fer him... lets hope it stays like tis forever. yeps....

i dunno wad to write... yea i said i would blog. bud i dun noe whr to start wif eh?
im havin tis super serious giddyness like 20times a dae... n its nt goin away. i dun wanna blog now. mayb tmr or sumdae... sorri yea...?

its my blog anyway... hahahaha heE

lotsa stuff went thru my mind these few daes... mayb i'll blog when i haf e time. just plain busy now... i haven finished so many things im chucking them at one side. started work at jL. n it sucks bcos its too slack. im gonna boRe to deaTh.... saLes pls quickly come...


wanna write stuff... bud nt now.
im too .................... lost.

it'S RenEe.

FeEl goOd.

Your #1 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #4 Match: ISFP

The Artist You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs. You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #5 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

What's" Your Personality Type?

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got tis frm leeHom. no i TOOK it. n yeS its leeHom!! beG mi fer his add bah!!!! loL...
anyway... i blogged four-ice todae.. haha dats e equivilent of thr-ice. i dun noe how its written la!! unless u wan mi to write quadruples... nMind.
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n i seriously do think tis thing is accurate. iT is!!