the day's gone. in fact its been gone for 3days ya i noe. i wonder what's up with all the present books this year. at least i wont stay home all bored with nothing to do. but eh presentbooks are more of like a christmas present what?!

anyways i think mummy and abel are two giganticly horrifyingly sweet people. i wonder how come their guys left them. ha that was not very nice. so the thing is they are terrifyingly sweet human beings. the kind that would make u tear like fuck and make u want to die for them bcos they supposedly did such an enormously heartwarming thing for you. dub.




you know i wonder why u can have all your close guy friends and i cant have my handful of female friends. Fine u had your say and your revenge already. i felt awful. Thanks alot. so how do you think we can go on from here? i don't.

crazy;abel

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had to let go
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably
---------------------------------------------Gnarls Barkley


Regardless Anyways
Happy Birthday my boy.
19's a magical number.
Spend it wisely.
Like the gift.

And it's 2 points away from a Blackjack.
goot goot gawd

Religion; abel

I can go on and on about religion. How I don't subscribe to it, the events leading to being agnostic, how its fanatic believers would be ironically the roots of many historical and possibly future catastrophes.

I believe, like everything else, religion has to be balanced. This is my religion. I give thanks that God has granted me the faith to believe that I could change things for the better just by being alive. But to subscribe to a particular faith through insistence that the bible, the quran or that through reciting the sutra I could ultimately gain enlightenment or be forgiven, I'll pass thank you.

Religion is marketed in many ways, there is the coercion of fear, there are the social support cell groups, word of mouth, entertaining pastors on TV and religious albums. I have had my brush with faith, it didn't blossom, but it didn't disintegrate my concept of a higher being watching over us.

My main reason for being agnostic however, would be my lack of knowledge in this arena. Sure i've read the Bible, and know the many ways of Buddhism. But I''m neither familiar with the Islamic faith nor Hinduism to completely surrender myself to one God, knowing that I can't kowtow to the Ultimate Supreme without sheepishly looking over my shoulder to see if everyone else is doing the same.

So. For the time being, I am open to all 'recommendations' and pitches. But don't put too much faith in it.

Jet

there aren't many occasions when u can say "Hey i'm happy with myself right now"

why do regrets always make up such a big part of our lives?

Ha. the irony.

We are more concerned about what's been done because it's been done.
We are not so concerned about our future because it's not yet been done, we can still change it.

Double irony. Such a simple truth made so difficult to be understood.

dub.




i think what is deep down matters a lot to me. not so the superficial ones.
i pulled your hand along the beach and layed down on the sand. i liked that part;
your willingness to stay and your willingness to divulge. i loved that expression;

i really long to see people in their truest state. sincere longing.
working towards that as well.

a son's ability to see the beautiful world,
a mother's cornea.
sight

you know you've not been a good boy when pple arnd u starts callin u names u dun want to be associated with. and hell they dun have a clue whats goin on at all. when everything's fucked up but u can't look fucked up bcos its goin to make everything even more fucked up when the fucked up pple see u fucked up they get even more fucked up and u in turn also get more fucked up by their fucked up attitude. and everyday i just wake up thinking of you knowing exactly what i need to do but end up forcing myself against that desire because i cant be hundred percent sure ill be able to follow through with my words. and YET along with that i need to face all these fucked up people doing fucked up things.

yea so when u look at things from all the whatever perspectives u see tons of images. when ur grandma's rich it dosen mean ur grandpa's rich too. when ur dad's full it dosen mean ur mum's not hungry. when the school is on holiday it dosen mean u are free. when ur wallet's full of notes it dosen mean u are rich.

HECK. i just want to be happy.


i miss hanging out with eric & co. abel mummy and all of you. i loved all the shit we went through. i want to just drop in on any one of them and feel what i love the most. these multitalented people are mad. and i would gladly love to be mad like them. mummy's gettin so blardy wonderful and stef's just a pain in the ass with her antics. i'm no longer part of eric & co. but ill find my mates soon to rival them. i want to be able to feel the primate touch of music divinity again. i long for it. dub i almost forgot the blardy cute rainbow kid we all love most. lets hope his dad won't bring me to court for this.
























and ofcourse i miss you. but dun take it in any way. its just... me being my fuckerjerk-self.

irreplaceable;abel



gratitude.
commitment.
thousandsofkisses.
thanks.